About blogging and tweeting

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Napag-isip-isip ko lang noong isang araw na ang laki rin pala ng naitulong ng pag-blog at tweet sa buhay ko. Totoo.

Noon, tulad ng nasabi ko na sa  Why I blog post ko, nagsimula ako mag-blog just to let out steam and share some personal and intimate stories. Sinimulan ko siya out of sheer boredom dahil nasa kabilang bahagi ako ng mundo, malayo sa aking mga kaibigan. Di nagtagal naging hobby na rin siya na mahirap alisin.

Lalo pa akong nahumaling sa pag-blog nang nagsimula na ang pagdating ng followers na sinundan ng comments. Di ko naman naisip noon na magkaroon ng tagasubaybay dahil gusto ko lang naman talaga magsulat. Pero aminin ninyo, ang sarap lang magbukas ng blog tapos makikita mong tumataas yung stats mo lalo na kung may nag-iwan ng comment kahit "nice post" lang yung sinabi niya. Nakaka-good vibes lang kahit papaano.

Nang nakisali na rin ako sa pagtalon ng ibang bloggers sa twitter lalo naman akong natuwa. Kasi kita mo na agad in real time kung ano nangyayari sa buhay nila. Una kong finollow yung mga bloggers na sinusundan ko. Sabi ko limit ko muna doon. At tulad sa blog, di ko rin naman inaasahang mag-follow back sila. Pero natuwa naman ako if they did. Lalo pa noong nagsimula na kaming makapag-exchange ng tweets. Feeling fanboy lang. Syempre sa simula, careful lang ako kasi baka isipin nila napaka feeler ko naman - feeling close. hehe

Naku, humahaba na pala yung post. Ngayon, bakit ko nga ba nasabi na malaki rin ang naitulong ng pag-blog at tweet sa buhay ko. Di naman actually sa buhay, pero sa sarili ko.

Dahil kasi sa blogging at tweeting, I met a lot of interesting people like me. Naisip ko yun when I was out with some friends from twitter. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, di ko sila makikilala under normal circumstances. Salamat na lang sa blog at twitter, nakilala ko sila. Karamihan sa nakilala ko ay nasa BPO industry, maraming young professionals, entrepreneurs, mga executives, politicians, artista, musician, at porn stars. char lang sa last 5. hehe Pero seriously, salamat sa blog at twitter, masasabi kong naging tunay kong kaibigan ang karamahian sa kanila.

At dahil na rin nga marami akong nakilalang tulad ko, mas nakilala ko rin ang sarili ko. Sabi nga nila, tulad ng isang bahaghari, ang mga tulad natin ay mayroon din iba't ibang kulay. Merong nasa side ng pink, yellow orange. Yung iba asa blue, green, violet. Ngunit kahit na saan man silang kulay ng bahaghari, dala naman nila ang sarili nila. Lahat sila ay kaya dalhin kung sino at kung ano sila. Iyon ang isa sa mga natutunan ko sa kanila. Kung ano ka, panindigan mo. Huwag mong hayaang ibang tao ang magdikta kung paano mo patakbuhin ang buhay mo.

At huli, sa pagkilala sa iba't ibang tao, mas nakilala ko o mas napagtanto ko kung anong mga katangian ang hinahanap ko sa isang special someone. Hindi naman sa nagkakaroon ako ng checklist o requirements sa jowa, nagkakaroon lang ako ng idea kung anong klaseng personalities ang tutugma o magko-compliment sa ugali ko. Mahirap naman yung mag-clash kayo ng personalities di ba. Swak nga sa sex pero pag date na, sablay na kayo. You can't even carry a sensible conversation. Eh yun pa naman ang importante pag tumanda kayo ah di na keri magjugjugan. Lagi kong iniisip na that special someone in your life should bring out the best in you. Kung mas madalas na umiinit ang ulo mo pag magkasama kayo, malamang sa malamang, di kayo tugma sa isa't isa. Kaya nga sabi nila, when you're out meeting people, you're not looking for a perfect guy but someone who is perfect for you. O divah.

Alam kong marami pa kong dapat ipagpasalamat sa blogging at tweeting, sa mga kaibigan kong bloggers at tweeps. Pero yung lang muna ang nasa isip ko. Pag naisip ko na yung iba, next post na lang. 

O siya. Good morning!


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That Feeling I Hate

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I swore that I won't ever feel this feeling again. I guess I had it coming. Investing feelings in a friendship that I don't know if it's mutual.

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I recently met with a friend. We had a very nice chat after an event and we caught up with the lives of the people we both know.

Then we went on with his recent conversation of a friend from a far off place. This friend of ours was, shall we say, elusive and mysterious. According to him, our friend was involved in an unfortunate incident which is why he was out of the radar for the past months. He continued by saying that our friend was still recovering from his injuries -and her's the kicker - here in the country, which kinda stunned me. All the while, I thought our dear friend went abroad. Well that's what he made me believe. The more my friend continued with his story, the more I felt betrayed.

There I was being concerned with that friend, asking him how he was or how he's doing just to find out that he's not fully truthful to me. Of all the things I dislike most, making me feel like a fool was the worst. And yes, at that point I felt like a fool. I was a fool for believing that he considered me as his good friend.

It's just very disappointing. And I hate myself for feeling that.. again.

In my youth I used to be that guy who was always concerned with my friends. I wanted to know how they're doing and what's going on with them. I made sure that I was always updated with their lives. I wasn't nagging them, it just became natural that when I ask my friends, they answer me truthfully. I learned the hard way that not all people are like that. I learned that it was much more painful knowing about things from other people rather than hearing them from those who you treat as friends. It's just sad.

As I got older, I tried to find out little about people. I shy away from investing a lot of emotions because I know I get hurt easily. But sometimes, I still slip. I still give myself out wholly to people only to find out that they don't think of me the same way I think of them, a true friend.

And just what I told another person who made me feel that way. Circumstances like this are just sad. But I understand. It just hurts but I got to suck it up and just move on. Eventually I can teach my heart to always guard itself.
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