Closet Clutters

Ang bawat taon ay nag-iiwan sa atin ng mga alaala at mga aral na bago lang or marahil ay nalimutan na natin sa pagdaan ng panahon. Ang patapos na taon ay hindi naiiba. Bawat araw ay isang pagsubok ng ating pagkatao at paniniwala. Pamamaalam Hindi naging maganda ang bungad ng taon na ito sa akin dahil sa pamamaalam ng isang taong naging bahagi na ng aming pamilya. Nang sumakabilang-buhay ang aking amain nagbago ang lahat sa amin. Kinailangan kong maging matatag para sa aking ina para magabayan at suportahan siya habang siya ay nagdadalamhati. Hindi madali para sa isang anak na makita niyang nalulungkot ang taong inaasahan niyang magiging malakas para sa kanya. Pero sa awa ng Diyos at sa tulong na rin ng malalapit na kaibigan, unti-unti kaming nakabangon at nagpapatuloy ng aming buhay. Propesyon Noong nakaraang taon ay hindi ko masyadong nagamit ang propesyon ko dahil pinagtuunan ko ng pansin ang aking pag-aaral. Ngunit dahil na rin sa mga pangyayari sa pasok ng taon...

Kamakailan lang ay nadagdagan na naman ang bilang ng aking gulang. Hindi na mapagkakaila na tumatanda na talaga ako sa bente-syete. Masaya ko namang ipinagdiwang ang araw na ito sa pamamagitan ng pagsalubong sa aking kaarawan kasama ng malalapit na kaibigan. Tunay ngang naging masaya ang pagsalubong namin - kain sa buffet at inom ng mga banyagang alak na noon ko lang nakita. Simple ngunit may kurot pa rin. Ngunit sa aking pagsalubong, hindi ko naiwasang malungkot nang bahagya. Naisip ko, sa gulang kong ito, ano na ba ang narating ko? Nadadagdagan ako ng taon ngunit hindi naman nadagdagan ang mga nagagawa ko sa buhay. Parang ganoon pa rin, walang pagbabago. Nabulalas ko ito nang sandali sa aking kasama sa hotel room nang kinamusta niya ko. Ngunit sa alaalang iyon ang aking kaarawan, pinapaliban ko muna ang isipang iyon. Kailangan masaya ako, bulong ko sa sarili. Sinaglitan kong binisita ang facebook. Nagulat ako sa aking nakita; ang mga kamag-aral ko noong kolehiyo ay g...

Everybody has their own story how they knew they were different. When I was a teenager and trying to explore my sexual curiosity, I often ask people like me this question, 'how did you know?' And for all you reading, here's my answer. I already knew I was different in sixth grade when I can't seem to act normal around jocks in school. I usually stammer or act weird whenever we talk. And I couldn't maintain eye-contact with them without feeling shy. Yes, I think that was the first time I had a crush on someone. That was the time when I was conscious of how different I was based on my feelings and actions. But later on, I realized that I already had homosexual tendencies  as young as 7 years old. When I was at that age, my mom used to bring me with her to her workplace. Her boss was a sweet old lady with a son which also helps her in the business. The son was tall, friendly, and very pleasant looking (I didn't have any concept of sexy that time). And as I ...

Have you ever done something that later you wished you haven't done? Something that you wanted to do or believed you wanted to do but deep inside you really didn't want to do. That there is a certain force that lets you give in without even considering all the factors of the situation. In this instances, not only is  your life  affected but also someone else's. The decision you made was based primarily on the goal to please. But in doing so, your principles and beliefs as well as others' are bent or disregarded. You may even think that it's deja vu. That you'd think you'll learn from the past. Now that this thing happened again with you allowing it, you'd think that you can handle this better than before. But it looks like history taught you nothing. The only thing that you can think of is to escape. Then you realize that there is no other alternative. You'd make certain sacrifices. You'd give up certain habits. A small price to pay for...