Noong isang araw habang palakad-lakad ako mag-isa sa mall, napag-isip-isip ko: "paano ba style ko noon 'pag gusto kong magtanggal ng init?" Ngayon kasi parang kailangan o mas maganda yung may magtatanggal noon para sa'yo 'di ba. Paano ba ako noon?

Noon, masaya na ko magjakol mag-isa. 'Yung parang may sariling buhay yung etits mo at titigas na lang siya nang kusa kaya no-choice ka kung hindi magbate. Tapos naka-tengga ka lang sa bahay, sa kwarto mo, kaya sa tuwing titigas si Junjun, parang pilit ka pang magjakol para lumambot siya. You'll be like, "You're hard again! Jeez!"

Noon solb na ko sa literotika, sa mga kwentong malilibog. Kahit walang picture, basta hindi jejemon yung pagkakasulat tsaka maayos yung sentence construction, pwede na pagjakulan. Alala ko pa nga, isang beses, sa sobrang libog ko sa binabasa ko, nilabasan ako nang hindi ko hinahawakan etits ko. Pramis! Mabaog man ako. Doon ko lang napatunayan na pure libog and imagination can really make one come.

Noon naghihintay pa ako ng chance ng sleepover o inuman para maka-take advantage sa mga friends ko. Well, di naman talaga take advantage, gusto naman nila. Kunyari lang silang natutulog. Hindi yung whenever, wherever.

Ngayon kasi parang iba na. Dahil mas madali ng makahanap ng taong tutulong sa'yo sa tag-init, mas ok yung may kasama.

Nagsimula ako noon sa mIRC tapos Yahoo Chat tapos pati yung mga TV channels na ipopost mo yung number mo TV screen tapos may magte-text na lang sa'yo ng "can we b txtm8s?", pinatos ko. Though wala naman akong naka-EB talaga (yuck! so jeje) sa kanila puro landian lang sa text, ganun.

Nagsimula na rin ako sa craft of staring at guys. Una ginamit ko siya para lang ma-hone ang gaydar ko (5-sec count). But later on, naging pick-up tool na rin siya. 'Yung magtititigan kayo tapos boom, CR! boom, MRT! boom, FX! boom, sinehan! Boom! Meron ata akong stories niyan dito sa blog na nakakalat.

Pinakahuling istilo ko ay sa blog to twitter to other gay sites/apps. Parang half ng lifetime keme ko dyan nanggaling (so far, according to my list. Yes, I have a list). Fast, convenient at ready lagi.

Bakit ko nga ba yan naisip? Kasi sa banyagang bansa, nababawasan ang convenience. Paano na yung FuBu back home, di naman pwede paliparin. 'Yung twitter network ng kalan (read: kalandian), di rin maaring pumunta. Kaya feeling ko back-to-basics ako dito. Stroll sa mall, window shopping. Boy-watching. Minsan nakakabingwit gamit ang tantalizing eyes, pero pagkahuli, pinapakawalan din. Mahirap kasi yung kumeme sa bansang di ka pamilyar sa tao. Baka kung mapaano pa ka-sweetan ko. Sa sobrang atrasado, balik na naman ang relationship ni Mariang Palad at si Junjun. Best pals forever!

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People come and go. There are some who stay and some just drift away.
But what's sad and sometimes annoying are those who choose to leave. 
Most of them leave out of jealousy or envy, anger, hurt, or pride.

But what's worst are those who choose to leave despite us reaching out to them.
What we can do is just let them go and hope good things for them.

I have my fair share of leaving and being left behind.
What makes me move forward and not look back are those who are willing to stay by side, 
inspire me in everything I do, and are proud and grateful to have me in their lives.
That makes me care less of the people who go and more of the people who depend on me.

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Kalabit (Poke)

"Natutulog na siya eh," I typed. I was pertaining to our mutual friend (MF) lying beside me.

"Kalabitin mo lang magigising yan. hehe," he replied. I thought he meant for me to poke him to wake our friend up.

"haha sorry gabi na kasi e," he added. Then I realized he wasn't just talking about a poke.


We were three lying side by side on the bed. I was on the right, MF in the middle, and a girl friend on the left side of the bed.

The phrase "kalabitin mo lang" lingered in my head as we are about to sleep. I was feeling lonely and alone being in a foreign land for about a month that I just wanted someone to cuddle with. Yes, boys and girls, I just wanted to cuddle.

I've had a lot of experience on making advances on guys while sleeping. Highschool made me a pro at that.

So, when I was sure that the coast was clear, and the girl on left side was facing the other way, I made my move.

Pretending to be asleep, I turned to my left to face MF and hugged him under the blanket. I felt him nudge a bit sensing he awoke. He made a sign of approval as he placed his arm over mine.

The night went on with us hugging or just holding hands. Neither one us spoke nor looked at each other. I guess we just had the same yearning to hold somebody (or maybe it was just me).

Morning came and we had to get up and get going. Our girl friend got into the shower first. As soon as I heard the water run, I hugged MF tightly.

When I sat beside him on the bed, he held my hand and led it to his crotch. At that point I knew what he wanted me to do.

He pulled his dick out and I started to jack him off. I could see in his face that he wanted to groan but was forced hold it in.

I continued pumping his dick until we heard the shower stopped. As soon as we heard the shower door open, he quickly hid his dick back into his shorts. We both played it cool while waiting for our friend to come out of the bathroom.

Since I had some business to attend to that morning, I had to take MF to the nearest MRT station. We weren't able to finish what we started mainly because I became too busy for the rest of our stay in his country.

Needless to say, that experience took some of the heat off my body for another month of solitude and dry spell.

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Two in One

It was very sudden. Just when I was trying to figure out what's next in my life - having finished graduate school and looking for teaching stints - there came an email asking if I was interested in a post abroad. At that point, I realized that everything does have a right time.

So without hesitation, I replied to the email and next thing I knew, I already had an airline ticket.

Things happened so fast that at first I got nervous and anxious. But I guess that's natural to feel that way whenever change would come, especially if it was that sudden.

Here I am now in a foreign country doing what I think I do best and just trying to enjoy everything that comes with it.


In beki news, I'm very disappointed when I got here. There's not a cute guy in sight! Gosh! Crazy! I think I'll go straight! chos!

Anyway, I have this borta coworker. I'll be replacing him for the post because he had to go back to Manila and attend to his sick mom.

I didn't think much about Mr. Borta because he's not really my type. He's like 5'11 tall and really muscular. Yung tipong sumasali sa bikini open. Ganern.

Noong unang kita ko sa kanya, kebs lang, maaliwalas lang siya tignan. Pero sa araw-araw na nakikita ko siya, parang nagbago na rin tingin ko. Like there's more to him than his muscular body. Akala ko noon di masyadong okay ang borta sa kama, i mean for cuddling. Baka kasi masyadong hard.

But there came a time na tabi kami sa backseat ng car. He was kinda leaning on me na kasi nakatulog na pala siya. At doon ko napagtanto. Ok din pala ang katawan ng borta sa dikitan. Di masyado matigas at dama mo ang curves at bumps ng muscles. Parang ang sarap lang i-trace ng mga daliri.

Simula noon, pinagpantasya ko na si Mr. Borta. And therefore I conclude, di lang bacon at chubs ang masarap i-cuddle, pati na ang borta kasama na sa list.

Bale yun muna chika ko. Medyo dama ko na ang homesickness pero still trying to enjoy myself here. Sana makahanap man lang ng beki friends para masaya kahit wala munang hookups. :))


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I'm feeling a little limp tonight - maybe it's the vagueness of my future or the dilemmas I am facing or the lack of financial stability I am experiencing - but all I can do is just speculate. I thought I have gone through this already, the quarter life crisis as they say - emotional lability, constant questioning of worth, and unexplainable emo-shit. I'm tired of this, tired to wake up each morning and feel unsure of everything.

Ugh. I just want to shake this off.

Anyway, speaking of shaking things, here's one topic I wanted to write about for so long. I first heard it from some friends [ang mag-react, guilty! hahaha] and it got me curious, though I have to say, I really don't need this. *ehem*

What is it? It's penis enlargement. Yes, my dear friends, you read it right. PENIS ENLARGEMENT. The natural kind. They call it Jelq.

They say Jelqing was derived from an Arabic word meaning 'milking', which is the main motion of this technique. You just have to imagine you're milking your own penis.

Here are some highlights of the technique.
  1. Warm up - like any other muscle you need to warm your sword up. A warm shower a would suffice.
  2. Lubricate - you need your penis to be slippery enough to avoid too much friction. You may use baby oil, vaseline, lotion or whatever lubricant you have.
  3. Erection level - It must only be between 50-75% or in other word, semi-erect. You don't want to jelq with a full hard-on.
  4. Ok grip - form an ok sign with your thumb and your pointing finger.
  5. Jelq - with your OK grip, start at the base of the penis and move up. Apply light pressure, just enough to push blood to your glans. Stop just before you reach the head. the jelq should last approximately 2-3 secs (well it depends how long is your wang. Ga-kabayo na yun pag umabot pa ng 10seconds yan ah). Repeat jelq process with the other hand.

Honestly, I haven't tried this technique. I'm not really sure if it works. There are videos that says it does, but I'm not really convinced. If you're going to try this can you do me a favor, for scientific purposes only, can you measure your penis' length and girth, try jelqing for one week, and measure it again after. Then send me a photo of your penis before and after with the measurements. hehe

After that topic, I'm not feeling limp anymore. *grabs roll of tissue paper*

JELQ reference:

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