Balik

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And so I'm back... from outer space.. :))

Yes, I'm back in the PH and back to blogging. Medyo na-miss ko din magsulat ng slight.

For the past few days kasi after landing, sobrang naging hectic ang sked ko. Ang daming kailangang tapusin at ayusin. I had to apply for clearance para makuha ko na yung TOR ko at diploma. I had to enroll again para maging bonifide student at i-avail ang student rate ng isang conference. I had to sked a visa interview na sobrang slim ng chance pero buti na lang at may nag-open na sked; at na-approve pala visa ko. And lastly, I had to meet friends na na-miss ko ng ilang buwan na.

So hayun, medyo packed ang unang linggo ko pagkabalik sa pinas. Pero masaya naman.

Ang pinaka-memorable sa linggo ko ay yung naging masahe sa akin noong nakaraang sabado. Tagal rin hinanap ng katawan ko yung hagod at diin ng ibang kamay sa katawan ko. Wala namang ES, pero may konting tease na naganap. sige na nga, maraming tease. Yung masahista kasi e, masyado siya. hehe 

Ang pinaka-bet ko sa masahe niya yung hagod sa katawan hanggang slightly at intentionally sasayad o sasabit kay junjun. Yung pupwesto sa siya sa ulonan ko tapos far-reach sa buong katawan. Para ma-imagine ninyo, may na-research ako sa youtube na slightly similar. But imagine, simula dibdib abot hanggang singit ang strokes.





Well, so much for the kwento. 'til next time. :)
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Komplikado

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Matanda na tayo para gawin pang komplikado ang mga bagay-bagay.

Natuwa naman ako sa papanaw ng kausap ko. Tama nga naman. Bakit nga ba kailangan pang gawing kumplikado ang buhay. Pwede naman i-brush-off yung mga bagay na di umayon sa plano mo. Kebs na lang 'di ba. Take things as it is.

We dated before, had an awesome time together. Kaso hindi naging kami. Sabihin na lang nating hindi tugma yung oras at panahon. Pero nakakapag-usap pa rin kami ng maayos ngayon. Naglolokohan at nagbibiruan. Napag-uusapan namin ang nangyari noon nang walang halong kapaitan. Nakakatuwa lang.

Inisip ko tuloy yung mga nangyari sa akin noon, sa mga bago kong nakilala. Siguro kung ganyan din ang pananaw ko noon marahil nakakausap ko pa rin sila hanggang ngayon. Kung sana'y hindi ko inuna ang aking emosyon, marahil ay buong puso ko pa rin silang maituturing na kaibigan.

Ngunit nanaig ang damdamin. woah. Bridges were burned. Relationships lost. Kung noon sana ay naging simple lang ang tingin ko sa buhay, maayos sana. 

Pero kung gagamitin ko ang pananaw na yan ngayon, hindi ko dapat nang isipin ang nakalipas. No regrets, ika nga. Panahon ng tumingin sa hinaharap at magpatuloy.

Masyadong maiksi ang buhay para pahirapan at kumplikahin ito.

Tsaka buwan ko 'to e. Dapat lang magsaya dahil panibagong taon na naman sa buhay ko ang lumipas.

Time to level up again..  :)


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Istilo

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Noong isang araw habang palakad-lakad ako mag-isa sa mall, napag-isip-isip ko: "paano ba style ko noon 'pag gusto kong magtanggal ng init?" Ngayon kasi parang kailangan o mas maganda yung may magtatanggal noon para sa'yo 'di ba. Paano ba ako noon?

Noon, masaya na ko magjakol mag-isa. 'Yung parang may sariling buhay yung etits mo at titigas na lang siya nang kusa kaya no-choice ka kung hindi magbate. Tapos naka-tengga ka lang sa bahay, sa kwarto mo, kaya sa tuwing titigas si Junjun, parang pilit ka pang magjakol para lumambot siya. You'll be like, "You're hard again! Jeez!"

Noon solb na ko sa literotika, sa mga kwentong malilibog. Kahit walang picture, basta hindi jejemon yung pagkakasulat tsaka maayos yung sentence construction, pwede na pagjakulan. Alala ko pa nga, isang beses, sa sobrang libog ko sa binabasa ko, nilabasan ako nang hindi ko hinahawakan etits ko. Pramis! Mabaog man ako. Doon ko lang napatunayan na pure libog and imagination can really make one come.

Noon naghihintay pa ako ng chance ng sleepover o inuman para maka-take advantage sa mga friends ko. Well, di naman talaga take advantage, gusto naman nila. Kunyari lang silang natutulog. Hindi yung whenever, wherever.

Ngayon kasi parang iba na. Dahil mas madali ng makahanap ng taong tutulong sa'yo sa tag-init, mas ok yung may kasama.

Nagsimula ako noon sa mIRC tapos Yahoo Chat tapos pati yung mga TV channels na ipopost mo yung number mo TV screen tapos may magte-text na lang sa'yo ng "can we b txtm8s?", pinatos ko. Though wala naman akong naka-EB talaga (yuck! so jeje) sa kanila puro landian lang sa text, ganun.

Nagsimula na rin ako sa craft of staring at guys. Una ginamit ko siya para lang ma-hone ang gaydar ko (5-sec count). But later on, naging pick-up tool na rin siya. 'Yung magtititigan kayo tapos boom, CR! boom, MRT! boom, FX! boom, sinehan! Boom! Meron ata akong stories niyan dito sa blog na nakakalat.

Pinakahuling istilo ko ay sa blog to twitter to other gay sites/apps. Parang half ng lifetime keme ko dyan nanggaling (so far, according to my list. Yes, I have a list). Fast, convenient at ready lagi.

Bakit ko nga ba yan naisip? Kasi sa banyagang bansa, nababawasan ang convenience. Paano na yung FuBu back home, di naman pwede paliparin. 'Yung twitter network ng kalan (read: kalandian), di rin maaring pumunta. Kaya feeling ko back-to-basics ako dito. Stroll sa mall, window shopping. Boy-watching. Minsan nakakabingwit gamit ang tantalizing eyes, pero pagkahuli, pinapakawalan din. Mahirap kasi yung kumeme sa bansang di ka pamilyar sa tao. Baka kung mapaano pa ka-sweetan ko. Sa sobrang atrasado, balik na naman ang relationship ni Mariang Palad at si Junjun. Best pals forever!




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People

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People come and go. There are some who stay and some just drift away.
But what's sad and sometimes annoying are those who choose to leave. 
Most of them leave out of jealousy or envy, anger, hurt, or pride.

But what's worst are those who choose to leave despite us reaching out to them.
What we can do is just let them go and hope good things for them.

I have my fair share of leaving and being left behind.
What makes me move forward and not look back are those who are willing to stay by side, 
inspire me in everything I do, and are proud and grateful to have me in their lives.
That makes me care less of the people who go and more of the people who depend on me.


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Kalabit (Poke)

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"Natutulog na siya eh," I typed. I was pertaining to our mutual friend (MF) lying beside me.

"Kalabitin mo lang magigising yan. hehe," he replied. I thought he meant for me to poke him to wake our friend up.

"haha sorry gabi na kasi e," he added. Then I realized he wasn't just talking about a poke.


***

We were three lying side by side on the bed. I was on the right, MF in the middle, and a girl friend on the left side of the bed.

The phrase "kalabitin mo lang" lingered in my head as we are about to sleep. I was feeling lonely and alone being in a foreign land for about a month that I just wanted someone to cuddle with. Yes, boys and girls, I just wanted to cuddle.

I've had a lot of experience on making advances on guys while sleeping. Highschool made me a pro at that.

So, when I was sure that the coast was clear, and the girl on left side was facing the other way, I made my move.

Pretending to be asleep, I turned to my left to face MF and hugged him under the blanket. I felt him nudge a bit sensing he awoke. He made a sign of approval as he placed his arm over mine.

The night went on with us hugging or just holding hands. Neither one us spoke nor looked at each other. I guess we just had the same yearning to hold somebody (or maybe it was just me).

Morning came and we had to get up and get going. Our girl friend got into the shower first. As soon as I heard the water run, I hugged MF tightly.

When I sat beside him on the bed, he held my hand and led it to his crotch. At that point I knew what he wanted me to do.

He pulled his dick out and I started to jack him off. I could see in his face that he wanted to groan but was forced hold it in.

I continued pumping his dick until we heard the shower stopped. As soon as we heard the shower door open, he quickly hid his dick back into his shorts. We both played it cool while waiting for our friend to come out of the bathroom.

Since I had some business to attend to that morning, I had to take MF to the nearest MRT station. We weren't able to finish what we started mainly because I became too busy for the rest of our stay in his country.

Needless to say, that experience took some of the heat off my body for another month of solitude and dry spell.



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