Closet Clutters

It was in an event of some sort. The venue was packed. People were chatting, drinking, dancing in every corner. Around the venue were booths, probably of the event's sponsors. I went around the place, trying to see who was there. Surprisingly, I was with a date. I have met him weeks before, but the interest slowly faded. As I walk around the dance floor, moving from booth to booth, I noticed a familiar signage. It was the logo of the company where the ex works. Manning the booth was none other than HiM, my ex. Throughout the event, I tried my best to avoid seeing him, or even talking to him. But the more I try to avoid him, the more that we tend to gravitate towards each other. Then finally, as I was talking to some random dude, like in a classic cliche rom com fashion, we were back to back having our own separate conversations, when we bumped into each other. "Oh. Hi!" I said, as if I was surprised. "Hey!" "You wanna grab something to drink f...

After meeting these guys, something kinda dawned on me... -- I met him for the first time that day. He agreed to accompany me to an 'important' matter. Though we have been exchanging  messages for quite some time, I was still anxious for our first actual meet up. I already knew what he looked like. Based on the picture he sent, he could pass as a print ad model. He has a boyish charm to him, with rosy cheeks, and fair complexion. And according to him, he's also tall. First things I thought of when I saw the photo he sent me was 'Oh, he's so freaking hot!' 'He's so gorgeous!' "WOW" "Take me home!" hehe. Honestly, I didn't want to believe that it's his actual photo. I was like, 'no, he can't be this hot.' I was thinking, maybe he's just shy or maybe he wants to project a persona. And since our interaction was always pleasant (he's really very nice, friendly and funny), I went along with it, thinki...

Do you know the Friendship feature of Facebook? The friendship page is like your usual profile page, in timeline format with cover photo. The difference is that it only shows the posts and photos and other mutual connections you and your friend has. For example, I go to my friendship page with friend A. I would expect to see our mutual friends, mutual likes, timeline conversation, and photos that we are both tagged in. It's an old service actually, but it's only now that I discovered it's full potential. It's one great stalking tool. I know, boredom made me do it. I initially thought that the service works just for you and your friend, hence its link 'See Friendship.' I then discovered that you can write virtually anyone in the box and see if they have mutual friends. Here's the thing. I've been stalking this guy, a classmate, which I have a strange vibe with. Everytime I'm with him, my gaydar goes wild - like butterflies in my tummy. A ...

Nakakatuwang kahit alas sais ka na nakatulog at alas nuebe ka bumangon ay masaya ka parin sa gising mo. Yung tipong ang saya-saya mo lang nang ikaw ay humimbing sa pagtulog tapos dala mo pa rin sa pagmulat ng iyong mga mata. Nakakatuwa lang. Nakakatuwa rin na kahit di ka masyadong nakainom, ang katotohanan ay isang baso lang ng wine ang ininom mo, ay naging ubod pa rin ng saya ang gabi mo dahil nakita mo ang mga taong nasisisyahan kang makita muli, at ang mga taong gustong gusto mo ng makita at makilala. Nakakatuwa lang. Nakakatuwa lalo na yung ang gaan na agad ng pakiramdam mo sa mga taong unang beses mo lang nakilala dahil lang ang dali nilang pakisamahan at kausapin. Yung tipong ang tagal ninyo ng magkakakilala. Nakakatuwa talaga. Nice to be in your company guys ulit kahit saglit lang- Nimmy, Leo, Nikki, Nate, Louie, Beej - at sa nakaka-awestruck na sina Joms at Jap. Salamat sa masayang madaling araw Josh, Josh, Keemo, Migs, at sa butihing hostess Mac. Nakakatuwa talaga...

Did you catch last Saturday's episode of MMK, starring Joem Bascon and Carlo Aquino? They did an episode in line with the World AIDS Day. I really love their approach on a very sensitive topic. They were able to portray the hardships people living with AIDS go through and how they cope. What I love most about the story of the characters was their undying love for each other. I'm really one who easily cries. And for most parts of the show, I was crying alongside the characters. I don't know if it's just me putting myself in their shoes or they're just great actors. I felt for Carlo Aquino's character when his parents disowned him for being gay And after finding out that he had HIV/AIDS, instead of showing sympathy, his parents was embarrassed and disgusted of him. Joem's character's father (played by kuya Bodji) was the contrary. He was sympathetic and supportive. He did not blame nor scolded Joem for being careless. Instead, he did what every paren...

Saw two guys from my past today. It was just so unexpected meet them in those places. First was JM. As I was walking through the neighborhood streets, I saw a familiar figure walking towards my direction. I couldn't have been more certain that it was him. A sweet smile confirmed my guess. He just came from work and was just about to go home. Since it was the first time since we saw each other after so long, he decided to accompany me in my errands. While walking to different establishments, we were like our old selves again together - joking and teasing each other. It was just fun to see him again after both us became busy with our lives. And as we walked further, it was apparent that our relationship stayed the same after months of not speaking and seeing each other. It's as if nothing changed. And I was glad it was like that.  Then I realize, this is what I want. Maybe with him or not. Who knows. I just want to have somebody who can be my best bud in public and in the...

At natuloy din ang akyat namin ni Heyoshua yesterday. Di ba I was talking about trekking again in one of my previous posts. Hayan, ginawa na namin. Todo sa pawis pero todo naman sa bawi sa picture-picture. Sa Mt. Gulugod Baboy nga pala ito sa Anilao Batangas. At dahil successful naman ang climb, inisip naming ulitin 'to. At tulad naman din dati open naman ang akyat kung sino gusto sumama. The more the merrier, di ba. 

Taking off from my drunk tipsy headache-driven post earlier this morning (which I reverted back to draft), I wonder: Is the past of a person really important to know? Do past loves, exploits, and heartaches have bearing on the present one? I really love this short film because they handled the question "how many have you loved?" so maturely. Some people when asked that, even me, would be defensive. But the story gave such a romantic treatment to the situation. As for my question earlier, I guess it depends on the intention of the question and the manner of answering. Props to  WongFu Productions for another brilliant masterpiece!

I just can't understand myself. Whenever I like a guy just because I want to be his friend, I can't seem to approach him without thinking of flirting with him. It's like that's my default mechanism in approaching the male species. Naalala ko tuloy yung movie na napanood ko sa youtube. The only way this kid knows how to repay a guy's kindness was to give his self. Nagiging ganun kaya ako. Pero di naman sa lahat. I feel that way towards someone who (1) I really want to befriend and (2) I am really attracted to. Like last weekend, I went with a group in an outing. There was this married guy who was really appealing, cute, and funny. I really wanted to get to know him more and be close to him. I kinda see an older brother figure in him. When we were night swimming in the pool, I kept on resisting the urge to make a move on him. Even in our sleep when we were assigned to adjacent beds, I was trying hard to control my actions because as they say you don't shit in...

The other night, I met a blogger for the first time. We had a dose of coffee and conversation. Most of the topics that came up were about love and relationships, topics which I seldom talk to someone because I have limited confidante. Anyway, in the conversation, some of the beliefs and principles I that live by came up.  Find someone who complements you and not someone who'll complete you. Love yourself first before you can love others. Love should bring out the best in you and not the worst in you. Sa pag-ibig kapag may sumuko na, ibig sabihin nito tapos na ang relasyon. (syempre, you should fight for it first. pero pag di naman talaga nag-work out, dapat ng sumuko) Guard your heart. Don't give yourself wholly to a person. Leave some for yourself. Kung kayo talaga para sa isa't isa, kayo talaga sa huli. Kapag nagawa niyang saktan ka o lokohin ka once, malamang mauulit din yun. Once trust is lost or tainted it's hard to regain or mend. Basic lang naman tala...

Ang saya lang ng experience ko tonight. Humanga at namangha talaga ako sa talk ni CorpCloset kanina sa Loveyourself hub. Though I am not in the corporate scene marami pa rin akong nakuhang insights on being inside the closet in the workplace. Gusto ko sana mag-takedown notes kaso baka magmukhang eng-eng na. baka may quiz sa huli e. haha. Anyway, sarap lang ng discussion kanina at ang crowd active sa pag-participate. Syempre, since nag-iisa lang ako pumunta, may certain hiya pa ko. Tsaka first time ko rin kasi sa lugar kaya reserved lang kunwari.  Ang pinakahinangaan ko kay CC ay kung paano niya dalhin yung sarili niya. Parang may certain aura ng authority. Siyempre, maging CEO ka ba naman di mo pa ba makukuha yung ganun. Tsaka kung ide-describe ko siya para siyang prof ko dati na doctor, tingnan mo pa lang alam mo na'ng mabango, malinis, at alaga ang katawan. He's someone I would like to be when I reach his age. May nakita na kong bagong role model. Noong natapos na yung t...