Fuck it hurts

I was very excited when my ex-boyfriend requested to be my friend in Facebook. He even wrote me a private massage asking me how I am.


We met around March 2009 in a place where we both finished some college work. He was the first one I noticed from a number of college students in that place. I instantly felt something good inside me. Like it's telling me to go meet the guy. Of course, being in the closet and all, I can't just go to a guy, introduce myself and say I like him and ask him out.

So, what I did was hang around his crowd. I was very much enjoying his company. He was funny and witty. Not to mention, he's really cute when he smiles. So when our time in that place had to end, we exchanged numbers. I wasn't really of being with him or anything. I was just thinking of gaining a friend.

Days past, and we were regularly exchanging text messages. We would talk about random stuff, very platonic, very wholesome. We were very much comfortable with each other, like we  knew each other for a long time. There was an instance when I woke up from a bad dream, and he was the only one I thought of texting - not my family, not my high school friends, not even my coworkers then.

All that time, we were just talking through text messages. Finally, we decided to meet again in a coffee shop in Ortigas. Here he shared his true feelings for me and I to him. We were relieved that we felt the same way. By the way, he was straight then and was really surprised that he had feelings for me. I shared to him that I was gay but I have no plans of coming out just yet. Though we were in the same boat about our feelings, it wasn't until our second meeting that we became a couple.

Us becoming a couple was not as sweet as I thought it would be. I was really hesistant to commit to a relationship because I wasn't sure that I would be able to carry out the role of being a boyfriend, plus I was very much enjoying out current status of close friends. He said we could make it work. Until he convinced me that being a couple would be the best thing that happened to me.

He was right. We did have fun and hot times together. But our happiness was short-lived. In our third monthsary celebration, we had a misunderstanding that later led to us breaking up. I admit, I was the one who gave up. I gave up on the relationship, I gave up on us. He never contacted me ever again after that and removed me from his Facebook friends.

Months later, I was really missing him. But I had to suck it all up because I was the one who broke up with him. He was my first boyfriend and I was his.

Going back to the present time. Now you understand why I was very much excited when he requested to be added in my Facebook friends. I missed him a lot. Because he was first my friend before we became strangers again.

But right after adding him, my happiness and excitement turned into hurt and regret. Now he is in a relationship. He finally moved on. I don't know who the lucky bastard (or bitch) is. But I know he/she is really lucky.

It so damn hurts when you are the one getting dumped. Shit. Fuck. It hurts.
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Blame it on the alcohol

Specifically, Mojito and The Bar. I knew that we were in for a great vacation experience at Subic. It was just a spontaneous invitation from a coworker and that added up to the excitement. I was looking forward for that event then because (1) it would be my only summer vacation, and (2) I'll spend it with close friends, not to mention the exciting itinerary the host had for us.

It was night time when we arrived. So after settling down, we went straight to our happy hours - drinking and magic sing. We are all looking forward to who gets to be wasted first. Since we are in a house we can just crash in at anytime. It was all laughter and noise when we already felt the buzz. I can still remember us having a question and answer portion since we were all intoxicated. As they say, in vino veritas - in wine there's truth.

I guess I first felt the effect of alcohol when I was already sitting by the corner and just wanting to sleep. I guess I was so drunk that I just want to lie down (or sit, at that time) and just let the time pass. Not long after, the rest of them decided to hit the hay. There two sofa bed placed together on the floor so that we can sleep together. I didn't want to sleep on the floor with them mainly because I know I was so drunk that I don't know what I could do to the persons beside me since I know what I could do when I'm drunk. Get it? Simply, I don't want any touching and groping to happen. I want my secret life to stay... secret. None of them knew what I really am. And none of them know that I have a thing for the two persons in the group. So I decided to sleep in the bed inside the room. They were all trying to convince me to go back to them but I pretended to be asleep so that I wouldn't move. Soon I did fell asleep.

Time after time I wake up just to check if I were still on the bed or I already fell down from my turning habit when I am sleeping. One time when I woke up, I already had company on bed. It was the 2 guys I have a thing for. I had a feeling that the two were romantically involved but until now it has not been confirmed. So there when I woke up I saw them. I was surprised naturally and quite frankly, excited too. But the alcohol in my system made me fall asleep again. I finally woke up when I felt someone holding my hand. I looked at him and his eyes were closed. He was still pretending to be asleep. But his hand was surely awake. He took my hand and placed it on top of his crotch. Blame it on the alcohol and my lust to start rubbing and squeezing his cock through his shorts. He wasn't satisfied so he led my hand inside his underwear. Finally I was able to touch his dick. It was already rock hard then. As I continue to squeeze and pump his hard-on, he was letting out this soft moans and his face expressed satisfaction. I would have continued until he his orgasm but I saw the persons outside began to wake up. So I stood up, removed my hand from his shorts, and walked outside pretending nothing happened.

We all lied down on the bed on the floor. Still with the buzz, we kind of wanted to sleep further. The guy I was groping on the bed lied beside me. He turned towards me and lied on his stomach. With great aim, his crotch landed on my hand. So what happened on the bed, continued on the floor. Nothing was really consummated that morning because the others started to really wake up. So that day until the vacation ended, the two of us pretended nothing happened.

Even after vacation, nothing happened between us. I texted him if he remembered anything that happened to us that night but claims he remembered nothing. So okay. I didn't bring the subject up anymore in our dealings. He is a good friend and I'd rather have him as a friend than a lover or a stranger.
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Stranger stop

I just had a relaxing massage from my usual massage place in the neighborhood. Since it's cool this night and I haven't had any exercise this week, I decided to walk home. A just a few meters of walking, I stopped. I was pondering if I should ride a jeepney or continue to walk home. So while I was thinking, I saw a man in the same sidewalk I was standing in. He was looking at me. At first, I got scared. But later on, I realize what he wanted. And so, I went along with his staring game to confirm my thoughts.

After a few minutes of looking back and forth with the guy, he crossed the street and moved to a shaded area. He sat, stood, and touched his crotch a couple of times. That's the confirmation I was waiting for. To be honest, I haven't done this before. I haven't walked up to a stranger thinking about having sex. I noticed myself shaking as I drank the last drop of fruit drink I bought from the convenience store. And with all my might and courage, I approached the guy.

The guy wasn't handsome. He's just average looking with a bulge in his stomach which seemed to be beer belly accumulated throughout the years. Then we made small talk. Since none of us has an available place to go, he suggested for us to do it there by the corner of the shade. I strongly declined. I for one never dreamt of being arrested for lewd conduct or public scandal. But the hornier side of me gave in. I stood by the corner of the waiting shed as if I was peeing. Here comes the guy who sat near me. He reached for my rod, tugged it once or twice and put it in his mouth. He began to suck my it. The pleasure of being sucked, the adrenaline rush, and the risk of being caught all added up to the satisfaction of that lusty scene.

The stranger released my rod and motioned me to move to a small street. He took me to another corner and like before he instructed me to act like I was peeing in the corner. As I positioned myself in the corner, taking out my wood from my shorts, the guy sat down and aimed his head to it. As soon as he was in place he again took my rod and sucked it. It was so pleasurable that only within minutes I felt like reaching the summit. I told him that I was about to cum. But he didn't stop. So when I can't hold it much longer, I let out a slight moan along with the ooze of my hot man juice.

As soon as it was over, he stood up. We shook hands. And we went our separate ways. This was the first time I have ever been this bold. I think I wouldn't be doing it again for a long time... unless the guy is super hot.
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