Closet Clutters

Even before fun runs and marathons became a hit in this generation, our school had already been organizing races annually. One night, being part of the boyscout family, we were tasked to become marshals for the annual fun run. We were asked to stay overnight at school to prepare all the things needed for the race - water in plastics, straw markers, route markers, stage and other things. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you'll have a good idea what went on during our overnight stay. So here it goes. After all materials have been prepared and tasks for the race were already delegated, it was time to hit the sack. However at that time, we were not equipped with sleeping bags nor tents. So we settled with sleeping on top of disassembled pingpong tables on top of a dirty, muddy floor. There were around 7 or 8 of us squeezing in on two adjacent tables. I was next to a higher classman near the edge. This upper classman is a jovial person. There's not a bad...

I remember a discussion in twitter about mom confronting her son as being gay. Most moms know it even before their sons tell them. Some even know that their sons are gay even before their sons know it. It's mothers' intuition. They say mothers are the first ones to know but last to confirm or confront their gay sons. My mom is apparently not one of those moms.I guess she's one of the naive ones - those who can't keep with the times, those who were born yesterday. How can I say this? Well there were a lot of times where I thought that my mom still believes that to be gay is to be cross-dressing, effeminate, or flamboyant. One time she asked me if one of my cousins is gay. I'm not one who tells on a sister. So I just returned with a question, probing why she thought so. She told me that her sister (my cousin's mother) suspects that her son is gay. I don't know, I answered her. Siguro malambot lang talaga siya , I added. And I guess she believes  me. An...

Have you ever experienced while walking by a restaurant, seeing its name or smelling their freshly cooked meals, you suddenly remember events that took place there? They say that our senses are closely associated with our memories and emotions due to their close proximity in our brains. It makes us call up powerful memories almost instantaneously with the aid of our senses. Since I tend to be a by-stander inside malls, I can't help but recall certain events in my life whenever I see these establishments: Friday's Burgoo  Trelli's KFC Bellini's Pepper Lunch Bon Chon Sizzling Pepper Steak Googel Aveneto Karate Kid Starbucks  Gong Cha Cha Time  Good or bad, memories are events that made a mark in our lives. It may hurt or calm us, crush or heal us. What's important is the lessons we've learned. Cherish the good ones and try to make good memories in place of the bad ones.

He stood there watching. Sobbing. Weak. Helpless. Little John, there in the corner, wishing that they would stop. The fighting. The shouting. Screaming. Cursing. Hitting. He couldn't take it. He just stood there watching. He never liked conflicts - the shouting and screaming. As much as possible, he stayed away from them. He kept distance. In his nook, his corner. The only thing he knows to do was cry. Now older, still little John dislikes conflicts especially coming from the family. How can something that's supposed to cradle love and affection possess so much anger and hostility, he thought. He wanted to run as far away as possible. He wanted to just disappear.

Minsan pag nagkakaroon ka ng SO (significant other) or SS (special someone) sa buhay mo, di ninyo maiwasang magkaroon ng tawagan or pet names. Classic example nun ay love, darling, mahal, pangga, beau, boo, bubba at kung ano-ano pa. So papatalo ba ko. hehe DK - naging DK kasi pareho naming nickname sa bahay ay nagsisimula sa D, so ibig sabihin niyan ay D** Ko. oh di ba, baduy. haha simula pa lang yan. Han - derived from my other name. When he first texted me, and addressesed me with this name, I thought he was just lazy typing. So I replied with the same name, and everything started from there. Mahal - Ito yung wala lang maisip na tawagan kaya nakiuso na lang sa mahal-mahal na tawagan. Soulmate - Ang dami kasi naming things in common kaya napagtanto naming soulmates kami. Though he's miles away, may pagkakaintindihan kami somehow. At excited ako makilala siya nang personal, like super personal. haha Big / little bear - Okay, siguro madali ng isipin kung sino si big bear...

Nakaupo na ko noon sa bus sa tabi ng bintana. Hilig ko talaga maupo sa window-side para pag nakatulog ako, may sandalan ang ulo ko. Habang dumudungaw sa bintana naramdaman kong may tumabi sa akin. Una kong napansin ang gym bag niyang dala. Abah, fit ito for sure. At hindi nga ako nagkamali. Triceps pa lang puro cuts na. Biceps pati na ang deltoids, toned din. Tumaas ang tingin ko. Dahan-dahan para di niya masyado mahalatang kinikilatis ko siya. Tsaka para malagyan na rin ng mukha yung mga  nakita kong body parts. Pagdating sa mukha, sabi ko, abah, pwede tong si kuya ah. Nang bubunutin ko sana ang cellphone ko sa bulsa ng pantalon ko na matatagpuan sa side nya, napadikit yung siko ko sa tagiliran niya. Sabay kibot naman si Kuya at tingin sa akin at sa siko ko. Mukhang irritable at inis. Tinamaan namna ako ng takot ng slight. Baka homophobic tong mokong na to. Dumistansya na ko baka mabugbog pa ko. Emote na lang ulit ako sa bintana habang pinagmamasdan ang mga palayang lagi ko ...

Just some moments I remember with the family... **** I just came out of the shower with just a towel around my waist... my mom and sister were on my bed and saw me... Mom: Ate, tignan mo oh. points at my belly.. kung sa baryo marami nang tao, pa'no pa kaya sa bayan? giggles Sister: Oo nga no, Ma. laughs out loud Me: blushing MA!! sabay walk-out! **** During dinner, while my nephew's being cute and adorable... Sister: Anak, kaw na talaga ang magiging susunod na Daniel Padilla. Me: Oo, artisahin siya e. Sister: Oh di ba, parang ako, iniwan ng asawa habang nagbuntis. Ako na si Karla Estrada. Turns to our mom. Ikaw naman, Mommy Eva Padilla. O di bah. Me: in my head....  So sino ako, BB Gandanghari, teh?! tseh ka! **** While changing my nephew's diaper... Sister: Baby, where's sunshine? Nephew: puts hand on his crotch... Chanchayn! Sister: You always say, Good morning, Sunshine!! Okey? Nephew: Chanchayn.. Me: in my head... S un...