Closet Clutters

"You're a treasure! You know that? :D" Ang sarap lang masabihan ng ganun. Kahit sa simpleng usapan lang sa chat, iba pa rin ang naging dating sa akin. Parang napakahalaga ko. Parang ang laki ng nagawa ko para sa kanya. Sobrang nakakagaan ng puso. Lalo na ngayong hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa ko sa buhay, napakalaking tulong ng mga salitang iyan para maibsan ang nararamdaman kong lungkot. Salamat. Salamat sa mga salitang iyan. Salamat lalo na't galing iyon sa iyo.

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I remember corpcloset's advice in a talk some time ago that if a gay guy should decide to stay in the closet, he should be ready to play the part. But my dilemma was that I don't know anything about what straight guys talk about like cars, sports, or girls. --- I have long chosen not to put a finality on my gender orientation until I haven't been with a girl. Wouldn't you agree that as a consumer, before we decide which product to buy, we look at other alternatives. Maybe there's something the one has that the other has not. 

Just thought of sharing. “Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”  ―  Barack Obama

The other night, I met a blogger for the first time. We had a dose of coffee and conversation. Most of the topics that came up were about love and relationships, topics which I seldom talk to someone because I have limited confidante. Anyway, in the conversation, some of the beliefs and principles I that live by came up.  Find someone who complements you and not someone who'll complete you. Love yourself first before you can love others. Love should bring out the best in you and not the worst in you. Sa pag-ibig kapag may sumuko na, ibig sabihin nito tapos na ang relasyon. (syempre, you should fight for it first. pero pag di naman talaga nag-work out, dapat ng sumuko) Guard your heart. Don't give yourself wholly to a person. Leave some for yourself. Kung kayo talaga para sa isa't isa, kayo talaga sa huli. Kapag nagawa niyang saktan ka o lokohin ka once, malamang mauulit din yun. Once trust is lost or tainted it's hard to regain or mend. Basic lang naman tala...

When I opened my dashboard today as I would like to follow-up on my blog reading, I noticed my stats. It already flat-lined. For more than a week now, I haven't published any post to gain traffic. Just when I thought I was the only one who finds it taxing to write a decent blog nowadays, I saw Mugen's post ' Why Its Hard To Blog These Days .' I have easily identified with some reasons listed in his post. There are 100 posts in my blog yet only 73 are published. I don't think I ran out of ideas to write. It's just I couldn't find the energy or zeal to finish the entries that I've started. I even had a series in mind with all the titles and the outlines already listed. But I guess what's lacking is the drive and excitement I used to have. And now, I feel I'm back at the beginning - trying to find my voice, trying to discover my style. But if I remember it correctly, this was how I started blogging - from reading other blogs and being inspired ...