Trying out a new dish

I remember corpcloset's advice in a talk some time ago that if a gay guy should decide to stay in the closet, he should be ready to play the part. But my dilemma was that I don't know anything about what straight guys talk about like cars, sports, or girls.

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I have long chosen not to put a finality on my gender orientation until I haven't been with a girl. Wouldn't you agree that as a consumer, before we decide which product to buy, we look at other alternatives. Maybe there's something the one has that the other has not. 

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So where am I going with this. Here's the thing. Last night, I had the - i don't know if I should say - privilege to taste a different dish from what I am usually having. It was a different treat coming from the opposite side of the rainbow. And yes, it was a treat. It was my friends' treat to me. A long overdue gift as they would say.

After our casual hang-out and drinks. I joked my friends [these are my straight friends] that I needed a massage since my back was aching. I kid them that I wanted to go to that place where one of our friends go to - the one with the glass window and happy endings. And to my surprise, they agreed. They told me it would be their gift to me.

All my efforts to turn down their offer were not acknowledged. I suddenly found my self entering an establishment along Quezon Ave with them. The place seemed to be high-class. And as described by our friend, there was an aquarium-like room where you could have your best pick of enjoyment.

I just have to say that I really didn't want to push through with it. Really. But there was something in my guts that wanted to know what it feels like to be with a woman for a change.

My friend accompanied me back to the window and I had my pick. A guy then led me inside and showed me where my room was. Come to think of it, the guy was good looking as well. Anyway, as I sat on the bed, I felt different kinds of emotions - excitement, nervousness, fear, giddiness. With a knock on the door, the owner of the number I chose came in. I would not elaborate anymore on the things Ms. 109 and I did. People might just cringe.

So what did I realize in trying out this new dish? I still couldn't finalize where I stand in the gender spectrum. Though finally I could say I have tried both worlds, I haven't tried the best both worlds can offer. I felt love with a man and I want to feel that with a woman. Lastly, I realized that more than sex, it's the conversation and the things that happened after sex that I cherish the most.