Closet Clutters

Sa bus, nakaupo ako sa may window side. Hinihintay na lang mapuno ito para makaalis na. Isa na sa mga huling pumasok ay si boy-bata may suot na backpack at may dala-dalang grocery bags sa magkabilang kamay. May sinusundan siyang lalaking may malaking bag na dala. Inakala kong magkasama sila. Naupo si Boy-bata sa tabi. Napatingin ako at napaisip, pede si Boy. Ako ay pagod na dahil sa buong umagang pagbabanat kaya di ko na lang siya pinansin. O sige, inaamin ko na minsa'y tila inakit ko siya sa paminsang pagkambyo. Pero natapos lang yun sa ganun. Nang magsimula ng umandar ang bus. Napansin kong si BB ay palinga-linga sa direksyon ko. Naman, trained eye ata 'to. Malinaw ang peripheral vision. Noong nakita ko ulit siya tumingan, ginantihan ko rin siya ng tingin. Iniisip ko kung may balak nga si BB sa akin ay makikipagtitigan ito. Nang pagtingin ko sa kanya, bumaling naman siya ng tingin. Malamang assuming lang ako, bulong ko sa isip ko. Matapos makaikot na ang kundoktor at mangole...

Taking off from my drunk tipsy headache-driven post earlier this morning (which I reverted back to draft), I wonder: Is the past of a person really important to know? Do past loves, exploits, and heartaches have bearing on the present one? I really love this short film because they handled the question "how many have you loved?" so maturely. Some people when asked that, even me, would be defensive. But the story gave such a romantic treatment to the situation. As for my question earlier, I guess it depends on the intention of the question and the manner of answering. Props to  WongFu Productions for another brilliant masterpiece!

Since my last post, I haven't had any ideas yet on what to write. So I just frequent my blogspot to read bloggers' post and scan through my stats. Now, I just want to acknowledge the sources of my blog's traffic. Top Referring URLs (All time) Souljacker Orallyours Citybuoy I remember when I was young Asian Meat Market Green Breaking Spontaneous & Planned Zai moonchild Top Referring Sites (All time) Google Philippines Google Souljacker Orallyours Top Search Keywords (All time) equanimity spa homme spa kamuning rustic spa kamuning japanese bath house japanese bathhouse Thanks!  Sabi na sa inyo e, mema post lang :P

Taking off from my last entry, I was feeling kinda adventurous one night. I took a leak in a comfort room in a mall in Mandaluyong. It was one of those comfort rooms on a floor with less traffic. I immediately felt the tension inside as I entered the room. I went straight to the last cubicle and didn't bother to close it shut. After pissing, as I've said, felt adventurous. I haven't done anything naughty inside a public restroom before. So there I went. There was a certain excitement knowing that someone might come in maybe join or watch me. I was almost close to coming when I heard the door open slowly. I stopped for a while and tried to sense if I had company. I turned my head and there's no one there. Somewhat relieved that I was still alone, I tucked in my junk inside my pants and went out the cubicle. As I approached the door, I could see three men handwashing and two men drying their hands. I just smiled and said audibly: "may conference ba?" :) I...

For as long as I remember, I've been masturbating almost the same way as I first did it. Lying on my back and pumping Bruno (yes, he has a name) using a forehand grip. Well, there's a slight variation from what I originally did when I was a kid. Back then, when Bruno still had foreskin, I used the index-middle finger-thumb grip, and sometimes the palm on the crown with the fingers dangling down on the shaft. And as I reach orgasm (still dry then), my toes will point upward towards my head. When I grew older and my body matured, I began to use the forehand grip still lying on my back, but when I consummate my toes would curl and my feet would point away from my body. I wouldn't consider myself adventurous when it comes to self-pleasuring. As long as I can release, I'm content. I hear different variations from my friends like kneeling, standing, or with one leg on top of a chair, or humping a pillow, or the two hand pump or edging or twisting, wringing. Though I trie...

I really don't know how to handle gay banters like the ones straight people do. Minsan pakiramdam ko pag di ako sumagot, lalabas naman akong guilty or affected at pag sumagot naman ako, lalabas namang umaamin na ko. Ang weird lang. Di ko alam kung ano ang tamang timpla ng comedy na di naman ako mabubuking. Pasensya na, dito ko na lang kinikuwento, kasi feeling ko friends naman tayo lahat dito e. Where was I? Ah, banters. Like tonight. Casually, I asked a classmate to open a tight bottle for me. Wala naman talaga kong ibig sabihin doon eh. I was just asking him a favor to open the bottle for me because I honestly can't. Then, he jokingly remarked, "Si girlfriend talaga oh." In my mind, I was like, 'what?! where did that come from.' Shux. For a moment, I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. (Pero syempre may kasama ng kilig yun. Si crush kasi yun e.) Ayus lang sana kung kami lang e, pede pa ko maglambing ng konti kaso ang masama  doon ay narining ...

I just can't understand myself. Whenever I like a guy just because I want to be his friend, I can't seem to approach him without thinking of flirting with him. It's like that's my default mechanism in approaching the male species. Naalala ko tuloy yung movie na napanood ko sa youtube. The only way this kid knows how to repay a guy's kindness was to give his self. Nagiging ganun kaya ako. Pero di naman sa lahat. I feel that way towards someone who (1) I really want to befriend and (2) I am really attracted to. Like last weekend, I went with a group in an outing. There was this married guy who was really appealing, cute, and funny. I really wanted to get to know him more and be close to him. I kinda see an older brother figure in him. When we were night swimming in the pool, I kept on resisting the urge to make a move on him. Even in our sleep when we were assigned to adjacent beds, I was trying hard to control my actions because as they say you don't shit in...

I've already thought of this topic two weeks ago but I can't seem to put into words the things that I want to say. I wanted to  provide an argument - based on Church doctrines and scriptures - on what Christianity thinks of homosexuality. But I'm not really articulate and I struggle with words. So I'll just leave it to the writers to give you that. Plus, there's a lot of sites in the internet about this topic. So, what exactly do I want to say? Well, I mentioned earlier that I thought of this topic two weeks ago. It happened when I attended a catholic charismatic group's program. At that time I was kind of missing something in my life. And I knew what or who that is. It was Jesus. I had been missing celebrating mass during Sundays and I haven't turned to God for a long time. I just wondered, can a guy like me - with this urges and thoughts - join a religious group and not feel any hypocrisy? Is there such a thing as gay christian? I know J...

Smiles can truly turn a frown rightside up. Whenever I see someone smile even if the smile was not meant for me, or if someone smiles at me even if it was a stranger, I feel like everything's going to be all good like sunshine on a cloudy day. Yeah, that's a line from a song. Like last night when two guys smiled at me while I was eating alone in a fastfood chain. Like this morning when someone across my seat inside the train smiled at me. Like this evening someone smiled at me as I was walking inside the mall. It's just refreshing to see sweet smiles from people. Made me blush, honestly. Smiles are like ice cream. No one can resist it. Everybody likes it. And what's cherry on top of that ice cream of smile? Well, why the lingering look (or a second look), of course!