Of brotherhood and flirting

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I just can't understand myself. Whenever I like a guy just because I want to be his friend, I can't seem to approach him without thinking of flirting with him. It's like that's my default mechanism in approaching the male species. Naalala ko tuloy yung movie na napanood ko sa youtube. The only way this kid knows how to repay a guy's kindness was to give his self. Nagiging ganun kaya ako. Pero di naman sa lahat. I feel that way towards someone who (1) I really want to befriend and (2) I am really attracted to. Like last weekend, I went with a group in an outing. There was this married guy who was really appealing, cute, and funny. I really wanted to get to know him more and be close to him. I kinda see an older brother figure in him. When we were night swimming in the pool, I kept on resisting the urge to make a move on him. Even in our sleep when we were assigned to adjacent beds, I was trying hard to control my actions because as they say you don't shit in your neighborhood. Baka kasi ang panandaliang saya ay mauwi sa pangmatagalang kahihiyan. And never imagined myself as a home-wrecker. As if naman iiwan niya ang asawa at anak niya para sa akin. hehe. So, just to finish the story, wala namang nangyari sa amin ni daddy-i-like-to-mess-around-with-and -get-rough-with. Anyway, I don't know how I can get rid of this reflex on cute guys. In phobias, the only way to get rid of a fear on something is to let that person face his fears. A process called desensitization. Should I then desensitize myself by being surrounded by cute friendly guys? I guess I just lacked cute friends growing up. 

8 comments:

  1. Or maybe, you should make a conscious effort to separate friends from those you want to flirt with. :)

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    1. but what if someone I wanted to make friends with is really cute? di ako pede magka-friends na good-looking? ang daya naman nun :P

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  2. ay ako naman kabaligtaran. hindi ko maipakita sa taong gusto ko yung totoong ako I tend to be more romantic, cheesy, gentle at sobrang conscious sa mga sinasabi at kinikilos ko.. lahat lahat na parang too good to be true kahit sometimes gusto ko makilala niya ko kung sino talaga ako. ewan di ko din ma explain ng mabuti.

    my way is, isasama ko siya sa lakad or gimik namin with my "closest friends" kasi in that way lalabas yung ako talaga and makikilala din niya ko through them.

    hirap nga lang talaga ng ganun.

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    1. ooh para alam ko yan story na yan ah... :)

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  3. imho It's not so much about how you can control it but why you react that way in the first place. Analyze your motives and you'll unlock the answers to your questions.

    daddy fetish? I love! Haha

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    1. oo nga e. I starting to realize that I do think I need to see a shrink.

      baka daddy issues lang :P

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  4. Never do something that you will regret in the future,

    On the other hand ,
    I would love to know what will happen if you make a move ,
    i really love those dramas tbh.

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    1. haha I try to avoid dramas in my life. though they are exciting, mahirap ng maging part ng problema lalo na ng mag-asawa.

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