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Limp

I'm feeling a little limp tonight - maybe it's the vagueness of my future or the dilemmas I am facing or the lack of financial stability I am experiencing - but all I can do is just speculate. I thought I have gone through this already, the quarter life crisis as they say - emotional lability, constant questioning of worth, and unexplainable emo-shit. I'm tired of this, tired to wake up each morning and feel unsure of everything.

Ugh. I just want to shake this off.

Anyway, speaking of shaking things, here's one topic I wanted to write about for so long. I first heard it from some friends [ang mag-react, guilty! hahaha] and it got me curious, though I have to say, I really don't need this. *ehem*

What is it? It's penis enlargement. Yes, my dear friends, you read it right. PENIS ENLARGEMENT. The natural kind. They call it Jelq.

They say Jelqing was derived from an Arabic word meaning 'milking', which is the main motion of this technique. You just have to imagine you're milking your own penis.

Here are some highlights of the technique.
  1. Warm up - like any other muscle you need to warm your sword up. A warm shower a would suffice.
  2. Lubricate - you need your penis to be slippery enough to avoid too much friction. You may use baby oil, vaseline, lotion or whatever lubricant you have.
  3. Erection level - It must only be between 50-75% or in other word, semi-erect. You don't want to jelq with a full hard-on.
  4. Ok grip - form an ok sign with your thumb and your pointing finger.
  5. Jelq - with your OK grip, start at the base of the penis and move up. Apply light pressure, just enough to push blood to your glans. Stop just before you reach the head. the jelq should last approximately 2-3 secs (well it depends how long is your wang. Ga-kabayo na yun pag umabot pa ng 10seconds yan ah). Repeat jelq process with the other hand.


Honestly, I haven't tried this technique. I'm not really sure if it works. There are videos that says it does, but I'm not really convinced. If you're going to try this can you do me a favor, for scientific purposes only, can you measure your penis' length and girth, try jelqing for one week, and measure it again after. Then send me a photo of your penis before and after with the measurements. hehe

After that topic, I'm not feeling limp anymore. *grabs roll of tissue paper*

JELQ reference:

Comments

  1. Replies
    1. si mac nga din una kong naisip after kong mabasa itong entry na ito then voila!! si mac ang unang nag-comment! hihihi

      hi mare!

      Delete
    2. at bakit naman si mac agad? haha

      Delete
  2. gusto kong subukan to pero di ko kaya mag provide ng pics hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  3. ay nakakaloka panahon pa naman ng cuaresma!!!! magconfess ka na bukas!!!!

    charot. hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Teka, hindi ako maka-relate sa topic. *hahaha!* Anong video yan? Curious ako mapanood, though hindi ko naman need na to. LOL! At saan ko pwedeng ipadala ang photos?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apir! Compare notes? hahaha you may send your photos thru email or viber or snail mail LOL

      Delete
    2. Di pwede sa akin to kasi I'm always fully erect eh. *hahaha!* Pwede post ko na lang sa FB? Tag na lang kita. LOLOLOLOLOL

      Delete
    3. haha ano yan? bato?! haha sige. sa FB. I'll expect after one week! hahaha

      Delete
  5. bakit kaya sa first line mo pa lang, naisip ko na agad na sa penis din patungo ang lahat?
    paintro lang ung figurative "limp"...when in fact you just want to say is your flaccid for the past days, with the lack of romance.

    tama ba?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. grabe ka naman? di ba pedeng matamlay muna bago penis ang limp? hehe

      hmm though di ko naman binanggit yung lack of romance, parang may point ka

      Delete
  6. Thanks sa tips! Kailangan ko to kasi dati ko pa pangarap umabot sa tuhod hahaha! :)

    Just shake the blues away, it's a phase that everyone experiences at one point or another :) Hey, why not make a business out of this - mag de-demo ka ng penis enlargement techniques? O di ba, nice idea. You get to mix business with pleasure hahaha :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha!

      Magandang idea yan ah. hands-on lecturer. I'll do it on me, tapos do it to others. hahaha

      Delete
  7. since the penis is a muscle and we can do exercises to make muscles bigger and lean, i guess the concept is sound though theory would not be the same as practice and i haven't tried it myself.
    i know some guys like it large but for me performance would matter more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree performance beats size. but if one has both, that would be better :)

      Delete
  8. Nagawa ko n to daily lols gagawa ako ng vblog lols

    ReplyDelete

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