Moved on

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It started with Jap Nishi posting a link in twitter. Well, he was talking to Miss Chuni and I happened to be observing my timeline. Since I didn't have much to do, I clicked the link which led me to Jap's old blog. The entry that opened was about his take on the beauty of goodbyes.

Since I'm in a goodbye-phase myself, I got hooked. I decided to read through his blog from his last entry. But what caught my eye almost instantly was his entry about why he started blogging. The final push in starting his blog, as he mentioned, was his breakup. And so, I was like 'what break-up? what happened?' So on to his first blog entry I hopped to find the answer.

Word for word I read intently. I could relate in some if not in most of the things he was saying. Cheating. Facebook. Emotional. Distraction. Then I turn to their last day (Jap and Ex). Different characters, different setting, but it was just like my last day with my ex.

We were happy on our last day. I took him to a somewhat fancy restaurant where he never ate before. I finally told my decision. He was caught off guard. After walking around the mall, we became ok. We decided to be friends. That it was for the best. But I ended up unfriend-ing him in FB, erasing his number. For months I couldn't understand why. Until I read this:

"How can we be friends if I’m still in love with you?"

I then realize, I still do. I am still in love with him. Though I grew tired of the repeated nights we fought. The many instances I turned into someone I was not. The number of times I felt things I shouldn't. The bottomline is I am still in love with him. The difference is, I wasn't brave enough to tell him that. And just recently, as I stalked him in facebook, I found out he's already in a relationship. Just roughly two weeks after we broke up. (funny how he suddenly had his posts set as viewable by the public). So I guess he already moved on.

5 comments:

  1. We have ways of coping with our separation.

    As I always say, when I broke up with my last ex, I did it through SMS. The next day I deleted my Friendster, blocked him from YM and changed my number. We never spoke, or seen each other again. And looking back, I did it because I know, I may not be able to free myself from a 5 year relationship should contact between us remain.

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    Replies
    1. oh my. I don't wanna delete my FB. 5 yrs is like forever.

      i guess it just takes longer for me to move on. thanks.

      But now i wonder, would i cope faster if he was the one who called it off...

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  2. "letting go is just another way so saying I'll always love you so~♪"

    screw that line Hehehe though I think it would take longer for the one who called it off to move forward... ☺

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  3. Hahaha.. It took me 2-3 years before i stopped hating my ex. would you believe ngayon ko lang cia nakakausap nang hindi ko cia namumura. hahaha...
    Well pero I think letting go or moving on depends on how you ended the relationship. And that stalking his fb thing, i think is kinda normal for us. hahaha..
    This may sound so cliche... but... makakahanap ka rin ng para sa yo!
    Naks! charot! :D

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  4. @Hustin: hey there!! i was nice to meet you and hangout with you and the other last night..

    so, i stumbled upon your blog and read on the "blog entry" which actually answers those few questions thrown at you last night.. hahaha.. ayun..

    you'll, eventually, move on..

    you're a nice person, and i'm sure there's one out there for you.. :)

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