Reconciliation... what?!

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"You did break up. But you guys are back together now. I won't dwell on what happened or ask why or who did what. I'm just curious. What was it that you felt or heard from someone, or saw that made you realize that getting back together was the best thing to do?"

I forgot to ask that to my friend who after breaking up with his boyfriend is now back in each others arms. They seemed to be sincerely happy in their relationship. So i guess there's truth in the saying "love is sweeter the second time around."

But there's another school of thought in break-ups. And this is something I generally believe in. They say that you should never get back with your ex because there's a great chance that what caused your break-up is still there - may it be an attitude, a feeling, or an underlying issue, it's bound to be brought up eventually.

So now I wonder, if there's such a thing as reconciliation, what could be the circumstances that would let one consider doing so?

Tweeps say that it depends on the situation. Of course, if the couple had a bad break-up, who in their right mind would want to get back together with that. Who would want to have a lying, cheating, son of b*tch as their partner, right? One would just be dumb enough to take him back. And I personally believe that if he was able to cheat, lie, fuck up, it's more likely that he'll do it again. But what if the couple separated amicably - no quarrels, no bitterness, they just went on their separate ways - what could be some reasons that they might get back together?

Well, I could just think of a few. Maybe the couple had, as the song goes, the right love at the wrong time. They say timing is everything. Perhaps they are truly in love, however they have other plans that could not include the other one. But once the time is appropriate, maybe they could pick up where they left off.

Maybe, one of them is not wholly into the commitment as the other one. Some people enter in a relationship halfheartedly, not really evaluating his self if he is truly capable of loving someone with all their heart and soul. Some bring into the relationship their personal baggage which will later prove to be troublesome for the both of them. And one would eventually grow tired and give-up, and just let the other one handle his personal problems first. Maybe, once everything has been settled and that person has all the love to give, maybe they can give it another try.

Lastly, maybe there's a feeling of guilt that's why he opted to get back to together with his ex. Guilt is felt when one did something wrong, obviously. It can be the reason why one breaks up with his partner. It can also be the reason why one takes back an ex. The reason for the latter is sometimes people want to make right what they did wrong. They felt that it was a mistake to leave the other one, or maybe they're in a cycle of separation with different partners, doing the same thing over and over again, that's why they decided to just break that cycle. Personally, I don't prefer this way of reconciliation. It's just wrong to get back together just because of guilt. It's just unfair for the other one.

Again, I don't believe in reconciliation, that's coming from my experience. But other's might consider it - well, I might do to, nothing is final - if the circumstance is right. What's important is that the reason why these people choose to be with their exes should be fair for both parties and should not be because of some feelings - guilt, pity, shame, pressure - other than sincere, unconditional, true love.



*photo from here

11 comments:

  1. I feel the same way as overthunker palaboy. it happens. :). love is a mysterious thing.

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  2. Overthinker Palaboy, good for you :)

    Soul, hey welcome to my blog. yeah, i acknowledge that it does happen. heck, i'll even advise someone to fight for your love. :)

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  3. A broken vase may be glued back together to be a vase (if one insist) but it wouldn't be like before.
    Nonetheless, I believe in being civil with the exes. It can even stretch to befriending them again ☺

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  4. maybe what you said is true... whatever caused a breakup would still be there...

    but if one chooses to accept that act/attitude/feeling/issue as a part of the partner, and ultimately the love outweighs all of it,it's not going to be an issue.

    :)

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  5. Bri, that's what i'm thinking too especially if trust is the issue. for me, once trust is lost, it usually doesn't come back.

    Gillboard, you have a point there. acceptance is key. :)

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  6. I think , i think lang ha ! Hehehee i think narealize nila sa sarili nila na mahal na mahal nila ang isat isa despite the fact na isa sa kanila may nagawang mali .... Ang love kasi ndi maiiwasan ang pagkakamali , at sa pagkakamali dapat may isang tao or one of them ang magpapakumbaba para masaved ang relationship ... Sabi lng hahahah

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    Replies
    1. Kulapitot, aba aba, sumeserious comment ah hehe :D uy, 7-11 tambay! haha

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  7. i have fervently believed in multiple chances - that hope springs eternal in a relationship.

    from what i have come to learn - there should only be a second chance after that, quits na.

    besides, past ghosts in your relationship will always find a way to creep up and surface. if its not something you can handle again - don't go for seconds or thirds or fourths... its not an eat-all-you-can buffet.

    relate much. LOL.

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  8. if it's meant to be, it will happen :)

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  9. im loving your insights guys :)

    Kaloy, tama nga naman, try muna sa pangalawa. wag na magpakatanga. kwento mo minsan yang pagka-relate mo hehe

    Jjampong, naks destiny naman ang sagot niya

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