Ghost of boys-in-my-life past

Saw two guys from my past today. It was just so unexpected meet them in those places.

First was JM. As I was walking through the neighborhood streets, I saw a familiar figure walking towards my direction. I couldn't have been more certain that it was him. A sweet smile confirmed my guess. He just came from work and was just about to go home. Since it was the first time since we saw each other after so long, he decided to accompany me in my errands. While walking to different establishments, we were like our old selves again together - joking and teasing each other. It was just fun to see him again after both us became busy with our lives. And as we walked further, it was apparent that our relationship stayed the same after months of not speaking and seeing each other. It's as if nothing changed. And I was glad it was like that.  Then I realize, this is what I want. Maybe with him or not. Who knows. I just want to have somebody who can be my best bud in public and in the company of people but my sweetest lover when we're alone.

Next was D. As I alighted from an FX near a well-known mall in Ortigas, I saw a guy walk towards me. He had style, so my gazed followed as he walked pass me. And who to follow him was my first ex looking down as if hiding his face. I stared at him and waited for him to look at me and say "hi." When he did look, it was just the most weird and awkward moment. I greeted him and stopped for a while, awaiting a quick chit-chat. However, he just continued to walk faster and just nodded and waved his hand so awkwardly. At first, I thought it was funny because it seemed like that he was on a date and the sight of the exes talking wouldn't count as an awesome first date. But when I walked inside the mall, scene from the previous awkward encounter keeps on replaying in my head. I got annoyed and pissed off. I was like, "where the F*** did that come from?!" And there was a text message that he sent me hours later that got me all steamed up again. Then I realize, there was really a reason why we broke up, and this was it. Valid and reasonable. And most of the time, there's no use in reconciling with an ex because you can expect that what he was then will most likely be what he still is.

They say that in order to move on to another chapter in your life, you should not go over the previous chapters. But on the other hand, it's in reviewing the past that we discover the secret for our present lives. Yesterday's failure is today's success.