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Not Now

Him: 'Wag muna ngayon, di ko pa siyang kaya makita.
Me: Di ka pa ready? Paanong di ka ready, e ikaw nga yung nakipaghiwalay?
Him: Basta 'di muna ngayon.

***

Ngayon naiinitindihan ko na ang ibig niyang sabihin. Mayroon rin palang pagkakataong kahit ikaw ang tumapos (ng realsyon) ay ikaw rin ang nasasaktan. Sa kaso naman niya, sabi niya he fell out of love. Akalain mo yun, ang four years ng pagsasama ay parang nabalewala lang. Parang gusto daw niyang makakilala ng ibang tao. At nakakilala na nga raw siya. Pero sabi niya, ngayon daw parang kinakarma na siya. Yung bago daw niyang partner ay parang di naman siya ganoon ka mahal tulad noong ex niya. At ngayon, parang siya naman daw ang head-over-heels sa guy.

As for me, I guess it hurt when he texted me one day. Sinabi niya sa akin na gusto daw niyang maging magkaibigan kami dahil may pinagsamahan naman daw kame kahit papaano. Sabi rin niya na 'wag daw ako mag-alala dahil okey na daw siya kasi naka-move-on na siya. At that point, I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy that he has moved on or be crazy mad that he already moved on. Ang sa akin kasi parang walang katuturan yung paghihiwalay namin. Wala bang naging impact yun sa kanya na parang okay na siya ngayon. Hindi naman sa gusto ko siyang turuan ng aral kaya ako nakipaghiwalay, ginawa ko yun dahil hindi ko na gusto yung nagiging ako kapag kasama ko siya. [mahaba-habang diskusyon 'to] Anyway, my point is, ano nga ba point ko. Hayun, pag nakipagkita ako sa kanya at makipagkaibigan, e di ibig sabihin lang noon na wala siyang nagawang pagkakamali sa akin noon. Sabi nga nila forgive but never forget because if you forget, you risk committing the same mistake again. I have forgiven but I won't forget.
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Comments

  1. ShenanigansJune 28, 2012 at 2:23 AM

    Marami ako sasabihin.. haha!

    1."he fell out of love. Akalain mo yun, ang four years ng pagsasama ay parang nabalewala lang. "
    -There are things that trully and genuinely not meant to be. kahit anu pang gawin natin kung hindi talaga, hindi talaga. tignan mo na lang ang kwento ni Jopay at nung ex niyang dancer ba yun si Joshua something.. they're supposed to get married but one day nagising yung guy na wala na siyang nararamdamang love kay jopay. look at me and B. Kahit ilang beses ko pa siya dalhin sa mga sosyaling restaurant o ipa-panood sa kanya lahat ng stage plays dito sa pinas kung hindi talaga kami.. hindi talaga.

    2. I don't believe in Karma. I believe in this.. "the negative attitude/personality makes a person do negative things if you kinda push that towards the scenario that your personality dictates it to be " Circle of life.

    3. "At that point, I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy that he has moved on or be crazy mad that he already moved on." - remember na sa break up it don't break even.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ZaiZaiJune 28, 2012 at 2:15 PM

    super relate ako sa post mo, ganyang ganyan din ang eksena ko, 4 years, fell out of love, etc. anyways, I believe din sa saying na forgive but never forget..kasi when we forgive, we free ourselves from the burden of hate..pero never forget nga para di na ulit tayo masaktan..

    hugs! :)

    ReplyDelete

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