Whenever we feel tensed, our instinct is to relieve it. We don't want to hold on to it because we know that if we do so, what little tension we feel at the beginning will build up. And later on, once it becomes so big we won't be able to control or bear with it, and we will just explode.

And what are these that cause tension? Most likely, it's stress from work or the anxiety from deadlines. There's also pressure from different aspects of our lives - family, friends, school, work, love life. These stressors keep our bodies contracted - our shoulders shrugged, wrist clenched, back tightened, toes curled. Not allowing our muscles to loosen up and relax results to poor performance.

Like what I've said earlier, we immediately want to relieve the tension before it becomes problematic. What do we do? We relax. Have a break. Go on a vacation. Meet up with friends. Do just anything that puts our minds away from thinking about work. So that when we do return to our routine, we can start fresh and energized.

Now that we have that out of the way, let's now go to sexual tension. Do we relieve it immediately or wait 'til the right time?

Did you ever feel like when you meet a person for the first time that there's an unexplainable vibe of attraction and lust between the two of you? And you're just dying to find out if that tension can lead to some chemistry in bed?

When I was young, I thought that it's requisite for any relationship to begin with sleeping together because I thought that it's the only way to be close with someone. I thought that getting to know a person comes after spending the night together. Looking at those I did shared a night or two together, most of them still remained to be some of my closest friends. I guess we charged our follies to youth, curiosity, and raging hormones. Therefore, I later thought that it shouldn't be that way.

However, there's still a small part of me that says it's better to relieve the sexual tension at the beginning to rid of distraction from getting to know the person beyond the superficial. Here's my logic behind that. When you meet a person you have the hots for, all you can think of is how good that person is in bed or how sexy he is or how wild he is. But once you get over that question with some bing-bam-boom, you can now focus on the more important things like, what he likes doing, or what he's into, and where he usually goes.

On the other hand, base on experience, there some downside to early relief of sexual tension. If one finds the sex so much better than the other things like dating, then in no time you two will turn into sex partners /  fuck buddies / jack-off buddies. Some may even lose interest early on because they would feel that they have already succeeded in their "conquest."

But I guess it all depends on the intention of both parties. They can get things over with at the beginning so that they can enjoy a sincere friendship afterwards (and just have something-something on the side); or first, get to know each other better to build up tension and have an explosive first night together.

What do you think?

photo from here


  1. I say friendship and sex don't go along - for me. Once you cross the line, things get a bit complicated.

    1. kaya nga mga phrase "friends with benefits" dabah?


  2. I'm pretty old fashioned so I believe it's better to get to know the person first, go on dates, etc. Then, we can move on the working on the sexual tension. That way, I can be comforted by the thought that he's into me not just because of the sex.

    But to each his own, so anything goes really :)

  3. Though at some point I find friendship and sex; cute, romantic and all... I guess one should learn how to distinguish which is black and which is white. Grey areas can entail a lot of confusion ☺

  4. i somehow enjoy having sexual frustrations WITH someone. moments that you're in deep lust, and you feel the libido building up to your chest, that you can't wait till you get him in bed and tear his clothes apart...

    For me if there's is such tension, then it means there's chemistry. I don't sexually frustrated over a guy who's pure brawns but no brain, and vice versa. chemistry plays a central role for such reaction... it's like nuclear, radioactive, flammable,... produces intense heat.

    hmm, well from another view, it's different when I get the itch out of hormones, or 'tis the season. I do go on a hunt. but don't make friends with preys.
    kaya wala akong FWB.

  5. @mugen: tama. i bit weird. unless nakasanayan mo na yung ganun.

    @ternie: hehe tama rin naman.

    @zai: I used to be old-fashioned too. pero madali akong bumigay eh. hehe

    @Bry: gray areas happen, i think, when 2 people don't talk about it.

    @Victor: so for you there's people just for ONS and others for keeps.