Terms of endearment

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Minsan pag nagkakaroon ka ng SO (significant other) or SS (special someone) sa buhay mo, di ninyo maiwasang magkaroon ng tawagan or pet names. Classic example nun ay love, darling, mahal, pangga, beau, boo, bubba at kung ano-ano pa. So papatalo ba ko. hehe

DK - naging DK kasi pareho naming nickname sa bahay ay nagsisimula sa D, so ibig sabihin niyan ay D** Ko. oh di ba, baduy. haha simula pa lang yan.

Han - derived from my other name. When he first texted me, and addressesed me with this name, I thought he was just lazy typing. So I replied with the same name, and everything started from there.

Mahal - Ito yung wala lang maisip na tawagan kaya nakiuso na lang sa mahal-mahal na tawagan.

Soulmate - Ang dami kasi naming things in common kaya napagtanto naming soulmates kami. Though he's miles away, may pagkakaintindihan kami somehow. At excited ako makilala siya nang personal, like super personal. haha

Big / little bear - Okay, siguro madali ng isipin kung sino si big bear. hehe. kaya naman bear ang reference namin ay pareho namin pinanggigigilan ang isa't isa - parang teddy bear.

Idol - Ito ang tawag ko sa kanya, pero iba ang tawag niya sa akin (secret na lang yun kasi nakakakilig e. joke). Idol ko siya kasi ang dami niyang alam sa life and love or love and sex. Basta ang dami niyang words of wisdom ala Ate Charo. Nakakatuwa lang kasi kahit anong landi ko sa kanya, di siya nadadala. kainis. hahaha

Someone - sa picture kasi nagsimula yan. we wanted to be that someone for each other. at first, okey naman lahat. kaya lang there's somethings that I guess are not meant to happen. I dunno. Siguro the timing's bad.


Sa mga naging tawagan naming iyan, naging special sila sa akin at sana'y ako rin sa kanila. Natuldukan man o unti-unti man silang  sa buhay ko, nagpapasalamat naman

Sana dumating na ang otter sa buhay ko...




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Muntik sa Bus

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Nakaupo na ko noon sa bus sa tabi ng bintana. Hilig ko talaga maupo sa window-side para pag nakatulog ako, may sandalan ang ulo ko.

Habang dumudungaw sa bintana naramdaman kong may tumabi sa akin. Una kong napansin ang gym bag niyang dala. Abah, fit ito for sure. At hindi nga ako nagkamali. Triceps pa lang puro cuts na. Biceps pati na ang deltoids, toned din. Tumaas ang tingin ko. Dahan-dahan para di niya masyado mahalatang kinikilatis ko siya. Tsaka para malagyan na rin ng mukha yung mga  nakita kong body parts. Pagdating sa mukha, sabi ko, abah, pwede tong si kuya ah.

Nang bubunutin ko sana ang cellphone ko sa bulsa ng pantalon ko na matatagpuan sa side nya, napadikit yung siko ko sa tagiliran niya. Sabay kibot naman si Kuya at tingin sa akin at sa siko ko. Mukhang irritable at inis. Tinamaan namna ako ng takot ng slight. Baka homophobic tong mokong na to. Dumistansya na ko baka mabugbog pa ko.

Emote na lang ulit ako sa bintana habang pinagmamasdan ang mga palayang lagi ko nang nakikita sa linggo-linggo kong pagluwas. Nagulat na lang ako nang makita ko sa repleksyon sa salamin ng bintana ang liwanag mula sa cellphone ni kuya. Isang naghuhumindig na lalaking topless at nakabikini ang nasa cellphone niya. Hala! May tinatago din pala si kuya. Pasimple kong tinignan kung ano talaga ang ginagawa ni kuya. Napangiti na lang ako nang makita ko na ang nasa cellphone pala ni kuya ay Grindr. Ibig sabihin ang pagkibot ni Kuya kanina ay arte lang. Kala ko pa naman allergic siya sa bading. Pareho pala ang koponan namin. Gusto ko sanang batiin eh kaso busy siya sa pagsagot sa mga messages niya sa text, Grindr at Twitter.

Kaya sa buong byahe, nakangiti na lang ako. Mukhang ang dami kasing ka-aura ni Kuya eh. Natuwa ako for him.

****

Sa isa pang byahe, pauwi naman ako. Galing ako sa Timog sa isang pagsasalo. Nakailan ding bote ng SML at RH kaya noong palakad ako pa-EDSA ay mejo gago-gago na ko. Kumakanta ng malakasa at tumatawa. Noong napansin ko yung ibang taong naglalakad na nakatingin sa akin ay medyo tinamaan na ko ng hiya.

Sa bus naupo ako sa may aisle. Tumabi sa lalaking natutulog. Masayang-masaya ang mood ko noong gabing yun. Bakit ba naman hindi ako sasaya eh noon lang ulit ako nakainom at nakahalakhak ng ganoon nang matagal na panahon. So sa bus, gagong ngiti naman ako.

Napatingin ako bigla sa kaliwa ko sa kabilang side ng upuan. Meron lalaking, di naman kagwapuhan, di rin naman kapangitan, na nakita ko. Ayos lang naman siya. Tipong constru-level na saktong pang-romansa, ganyan. Hayun, tinignan ko. Tumingin din naman siya at tumango at sabay ngiti. Ngiti din naman ako.

Sa byahe namin, nakailang tingin din naman din ako sa kanya hanggang sa malaman kong marami pa siyang kasamang kapwa constru. Kaya sinukuan ko na ang pagtingin sa kanya.

Nang makita ko yung mga kasama niyang nagsitayuan, sinubukan ko siyang titigan ulit. Tumingin ulit siya sabay sabi, ano pre, kursunada mo ba ko? Malaki ang boses at halatang lasing sa tono pa lang. Napatalon yung puso ko at natakot ako bigla. Umiling na lang ako at yumuko hanggang sa bumaba silang lahat. Di ko na sinubukang silipin pa sila sa bintana dahil baka balikan pa ko.

Ngayon, ano ang natutunan ko sa pangyayaring ito: Kailangang matutong mangilatis ng titigan. Matuto ring huminay-hinay sa mga ginagawa sa bus at ibang public transportation. Baka maging mitsya pa yun ng buhay ko at ma-gangbang pa ko.
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Random Family Post

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Just some moments I remember with the family...

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I just came out of the shower with just a towel around my waist... my mom and sister were on my bed and saw me...

Mom: Ate, tignan mo oh. points at my belly.. kung sa baryo marami nang tao, pa'no pa kaya sa bayan? giggles
Sister: Oo nga no, Ma. laughs out loud
Me: blushing MA!! sabay walk-out!

****
During dinner, while my nephew's being cute and adorable...

Sister: Anak, kaw na talaga ang magiging susunod na Daniel Padilla.
Me: Oo, artisahin siya e.
Sister: Oh di ba, parang ako, iniwan ng asawa habang nagbuntis. Ako na si Karla Estrada. Turns to our mom. Ikaw naman, Mommy Eva Padilla. O di bah.
Me: in my head.... So sino ako, BB Gandanghari, teh?! tseh ka!

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While changing my nephew's diaper...

Sister: Baby, where's sunshine?
Nephew: puts hand on his crotch... Chanchayn!
Sister: You always say, Good morning, Sunshine!! Okey?
Nephew: Chanchayn..
Me: in my head... Sunshine talaga teh? di ba pwedeng Bruno or Max ang name sa pututoy? Pag yan naging pink, I'll take him under my wing. hehe

****
While changing my nephew's diaper...

Mom: Malaki bird nitong batang to.
Me: huh? Paano mo nasabi?
Mom: Mas malaki pa yung sa kanya keysa sa'yo nung edad niya.
Me: Ows..
Mom: Oo kaya, ako kaya nagpapalit ng lampin mo noh
Me: drops topic... says in my head... tignan natin kung sino nga mas malaki pag umabot na siya sa age ko ngayon. #bringiton

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Bonding with mom...

Me: Ma, sabi nila, kung sino daw mas nag-enjoy [sa sex] sa mag-asawa, siya raw yung mas magiging kamukha ng anak.. So, ikaw ang mas nag-enjoy noh. Ikaw ang mamukha namin e.
Mom: giggles. Paano ba naman akong di mag-eenjoy.. ang laki kaya ng sa Papa mo.
Me: O.o  Ma!!!!


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Willing To Try. To Learn.

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Before they've been labeled as powers, I think they all went through a learning phase. Nobody can be experts on their first try, right? It takes practice to master any skill and develop a personal approach for each technique and position. 

I remember the first time I was given some pointers by a former lover. I was such naive about certain things. When it came to the bed department, all I had was the one and only style I ever did to pleasure my partner. So having someone to mentor me and showing me the ropes widened my perspective on things you could do  in bed.

It's good that you're willing to learn and try. But I guess it's far better if you're partner is also willing to learn and try as much as you do. The zeal in trying out things really spices up the relationship. I remember this guy I dated. He's really cool. One night, we wanted to try out something we haven't done before but nevertheless  very much willing to experience it. Two condoms and a number of failed attempts later, we still hadn't accomplished what we planned to do. But the good thing there was we didn't get frustrated or disappointed. We just accepted that the circumstances didn't really allowed to "get in" the moment.  We then just looked forward to our next meetings. We're not sure if it's his end or my tip that had the problem. But we kinda agreed to give it a try the next time. As they say, try and try until you come inside.

So there. My realization is:
Find someone who is willing to learn and try out things with you.
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Sex Changes Everything

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It's just something that I've been thinking of lately. Sex, I think, changes everything. For some, sex can be as casual as just having dinner together. Expecting nothing in return. Just contented with a night's pleasure and waking up in the morning with someone to cuddle. But for most people, including me (well, most of the time), post-sex is very crucial. It'll either make or break the relationship, even if it's just starting as friendship or dating.

There's this guy who I like very much. We spent the night together in our first date. The night was very much enjoyable - and the things that happened. But come morning, it just went downhill. There were already disparity in our expectations which was mostly my fault. I have to admit, I really did something wrong. So now, the sweetness that once filled his messages became more generic and friendly. I'm still trying to turn things around with him. Trying to bring back what I wrecked. But, there's only so much a person can do for someone. If he really lost interest, then there's nothing much I can do. I'll just hold him to his word that even though things wouldn't work out, we'd still be activity buddies.

Then there's this guy who's very much in to me. Alright, you can bring that eyebrow down now. He's really a nice guy. At first I didn't want to entertain him 'cause I was already eyeing the guy above. But since things went bland with us, I started to give attention to this guy. So far we went out twice. And in that times, it was all wholesome - dinner, drinks, talks, walks. Surprisingly, it very fun and enjoyable. No sexual innuendos, no inappropriate touching. Oh, there's some tickling that went on. But other than that, it was all rated G. So far, I'm enjoying our moments together. 

Lastly, there's a friend who wanted to start something with me. I find him as a really good catch. Successful. Stable. Good-looking. Athletic. But what set me off was our exchange of message which started as joke indecent proposals. Those things really put my guard up. Later on, he admitted he wanted to start something serious with me. I guess if he just asked me out to hang out, I may have given him a chance. But still, I see him as a friend and I wouldn't want to lose that friendship for something that I cannot commit to.

I guess,  I keep forgetting that relationships that start with sex wouldn't go far. I've been through it many times already. Ask people in twitter. LOL *shut up, now* If I really want to have a relationship with a guy, I need to make moments with him. Memories that we could reminisce when we're apart. I think it's watching Sex and the City that messed with my mind. Sex is fun and all. But I'm starting to realize that I don't need just a lover, but also a friend and partner.
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Wasted. Sex. Age

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when having sex, seek to pleasure yourself and not your partner

Since I needed some distraction last night, I went out with my straight guy friends. Though there was no booze involved since liquor ban already started when we got to the fort, we just settled for a cup of coffee and some good ol' fashioned lafftrip conversation. Sometimes there were some bits of wisdom I heard from them.

On kissing having sex and telling: My friend had classified his friends into groups if ever they have sex: when both of them are game, either one of them is game when wasted (drunk or high), or both of them are game when wasted. When asked what the difference was, he said it's what can be told or be kept a secret. He keeps mum on his adventures when booze or drugs is involved. It belongs to the what-happens-in-stays-in category. Therefore, we, his friends, wouldn't hear about that story from him ever.

On sex and pleasure: Another friend shared something he read when he was still in gradeschool. As he remembers it, the article said, when having sex, seek to pleasure yourself and not your partner. Your partner should also seek to pleasure her(his) self, as well. When both of you seek to pleasure your own selves, you'll also be able to pleasure each other. Only when you feel you are pleasured can you also pleasure your partner.

It's a different point of view in the pleasuring side of sex, right? Books on sex would teach you how to pleasure your partner. What my friend shared contradicts what sex books tell us. But the article has a point. By seeking to pleasure yourself, you take away the pressure and stress in trying to pleasure your partner.

On age: When our topic turned to our age, I shared to my friends that for the longest time, I've always perceived myself still as a 23-year old guy. I keep forgetting that I'm already 26 going on 27 this year. It's like I'm stuck at 23. I don't know if I forgot to grow or that there's not much that happened in the last three years. I just wish  my idea of self and my real age be synced soon and that something productive happens in my life.

In other news, I think I'll be using one of the techniques from my previous post. Maybe the first one. Grr. I forgot how painful a heartache is. Guess this is my karma. This is exactly why I don't want to give my all yet. It hurts bigtime! Jeez.
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Move on

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Siguro naman karamihan sa atin ay dumating na sa puntong kailangan nating mag-move-on. Yung tipong kailangan na nating ipagpatuloy ang buhay natin matapos ang isag kalungkot-lungkot na pagkakataon. At wakasan ang mga araw na tipong episode ito ng MMK.

Kadalasan, matunog ang katagang move-on sa mga relasyong natapos. Kahit na buwan pa lang yan o umabot na ng taon, mayroon talagang mga relasyon na di maiwasang magwakas at matuldukan.

Now, for the sake of this entry, we will assume that the one who needs moving on is the one left behind, the one caught off guard. Kasi kung iisipin natin, yung taong umiwan sa atin at nakipaghiwalay ay malamang nauna na siyang mag-move-on kaysa sa atin. Lingid sa ating kaalaman ay nag-iisip na siyang makipaghiwalay at naghihintay na lang ng magandang tiyempo o ng taong sasalo sa kanya. Minsan nga sa sobrang bilis nila mag-move-on nang hindi natin alam, malalaman lang natin matapos ang ilang araw ay mayroon na pala siyang iba. O davah! wala ng DABDA.

So paano nga ba mag-move-on ang nakararami sa atin? At lubos na mahalaga ay paano nga ba mag-move-on nang madali at mabilis? Base sa isang libo't pitong daan limampu't tatlong baklang nakausap ko sa kanto, sa parlor, sa gay bar, sa dotahan, sa gym, sa military baracks, sa universities, sa library, sa blog, sa twitter, sa grindr, hornet, PR, Jack'd, at sa museum, may I present ang top 5 answers ng sangkabaklaan at sangkapamintahan.

Technique 1: Maghanap ng kapalit
Rationale: kasi pag may lumisan, hindi ba may void na maiiwan. yung void na yun ang magpapahirap sa iyong makamove-on. kaya karaniwang ginagawa ng tao para maka-move-on ay maghanap ng ipapalit sa nawala. Sabihin na nating rebound, panakip-butas. eh ganoon naman talaga ang tawag dun. Kahit na ito ay counter productive (kasi parang pinapalabas mo na di mo kayang mabuhay ng mag-isa), marami pa rin ang nahuhulog sa ganitong coping mechanism. eh sa doon sila masaya e, [ano] magagwa natin.

Techinique 2: Tanggalin ang mga bagay na makapagpapaalala sa kanya
Rationale: pano ka nga naman makakamove-on kung sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos ay marami kang nakikitang nagpapaalala sa kanya - yung text messages sa cellphone mo, yung mga DMs ninyo, mga posts mo 'bout him, yung gamit sa bahay mo, mga stuff toys niya, yung pabango niya sa unan mo, yung brip niyang hindi mo nilalabhan sa ilalim ng unan mo. Dapat lahat yun ay maibalik mo na o itapon (sayang naman kung itatapon, donate na lang sa less fortunate peeps.) para wala ng constant reminder ng taong iyon.

Technique 3: Become better
Rationale: Improve yourself. Increase your market value. Magpaganda, magpaborta, magpapayat, magpabango, magbago ng wardrobe, magbago ng buhok. In short, become the best person you can be without him. Bakit, papayag ka bang siya lang ang magsaya sa paghihiwalay ninyo. op kors hindi noh. Di mo dapat hayaan ang sarili mong maloshang at pumangit. Ang sa lagay e siya lang ang matutuwa. Kung naka-move on na siya sa'yo, kebs. Nag-move on na rin ang buhay mo ng wala siya.

Technique 4: Maging busy
Rationale: Pagproductive ka at maraming naa-achieve, magmumukmok ka pa ba sa paghihiwalay mo? Walang distractions. Walang drama. Walang magpapasundo't hatid. Wala nga lang magpapakilig, muna. Eh yun nga e, nagpapagaling ka pa e. Kaya wag na maglungkot-lungkutan sa bahay sabay hagulgol at wall slide. You owe it to yourself to be functional. Kelangan mo rin naman kumita ng pera daba. Busy yourself with work, school, activities, hobbies, reading, watching movies, friends, flings, fubus. hahaha

Technique 5: Sa ipinalit sa iyo.
Rationale: Actually, may two schools of thought dito. Una, kapag yung nag-level up ang jowa ng ex mo. tipong mas gwapo, mas maganda katawan, mas mayaman, at mas malaki... ang puso. Yung mas sa halos lahat ng bagay kaysa sa'yo. Madaling maka-move on kasi alam mong susuko ka na agad at bibitaw sa pag-asang magkakabalikan kayo. 'Tama na teh, wala kang laban dun,' yun na lang masasabi mo sa sarili mo.

Yung pangalawa naman ay kapag parang gusto ata tumikim ng exotic ng ex mo. Yung tipong di mo alam kung saan napunta yung taste niya. Sa umpisa parang di mo matatanggap na ganun ang pinalit sa yo pero sa huli maiintidihan mo na kaya pala nakipaghiwalay sa'yo ay mejo na ibang lupalop ang tipo niya. makakahinga ka na ng maluwag nun.

So hayan ang nakalap ko sa masinsinang research ko. As for me, sa mga relasyon kong napagdaanan (dadalawa lang naman ito e, pramis, kung hindi isasama yung relasyon sa text bwahahaha. puro landi na lang
kasi yung karamihan. chos), ang susi sa pag-move-on ay nakasalalay sa emotion mo noong araw na yun.

Like nung una, galit-galit kami ni ex nung last day namin. eh, di ako nanunuyo no. kung galit ka, hahayaan lang kita. hayun, nag-break na lang kami sa text. ayoko ng drama noh. yung pangalawa naman, aba'y loko-loko yun e, gumawa ba naman ng milagro kasama nung kaibigan ko sa lakad namin ah. Ako naman si gago na pinatawad at tinanggap siya ulit. Pero napraning na ko after that incident eh. Lagi ko iniisip na may kakeme siya kapag nag-iinuman. Yes, gala siya, mahilig lumabas with friends kasi bata pa, 3 yrs agwat namin. So nung nakipagbreak siya, ayos na ko kasi sawa na rin ako sa pakikipagtalo at pag-aalala sa kanya e.

Ultimately, moving on is a matter of choice. You take responsibility with your feelings and emotions. It's up to you which ideal you would take with you after a devastating incident like breaking up. Yes, your feelings of sadness is valid. But you still have to realize that before him, you were already living and doing your own thing. You just have to get back on your feet and forget him altogether. Forget the person but not the lessons that you have learned from the experience. Forget the pains of breaking up but not the feeling of joy being loved by someone.
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How did you know?

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Everybody has their own story how they knew they were different. When I was a teenager and trying to explore my sexual curiosity, I often ask people like me this question, 'how did you know?'

And for all you reading, here's my answer.

I already knew I was different in sixth grade when I can't seem to act normal around jocks in school. I usually stammer or act weird whenever we talk. And I couldn't maintain eye-contact with them without feeling shy. Yes, I think that was the first time I had a crush on someone.

That was the time when I was conscious of how different I was based on my feelings and actions. But later on, I realized that I already had homosexual tendencies  as young as 7 years old.

When I was at that age, my mom used to bring me with her to her workplace. Her boss was a sweet old lady with a son which also helps her in the business. The son was tall, friendly, and very pleasant looking (I didn't have any concept of sexy that time). And as I kid, I can't seem to take my eyes off him. It was like I was drawn to him. I didn't know anything about crushes that time. I just knew that I was excited whenever I see him. I was fond of being with him.

When I was at the Prep level, I was being brought to and from school by a service. All grade levels were mixed in the vehicle - from Prep to Highschool. There was this senior who I was very fond of seeing. Again, friendly, pleasant, and brotherly. I could remember being touchy with him - holding his arm, resting my head on his laps. At that age, it seemed benign. But now looking back, I guess I did have a crush on him or something. Or maybe, I was just looking for a big brother figure. Quite confusing actually.

And to confuse me more as a kid, I remember a time when I was in first grade, all of us students were sitting by the wall. I don't know how it all started by I vaguely recall touching my classmate's stiff pecker and I was letting him touch mine. We didn't actually masturbate but I remember feeling a weird kind of pleasure that time.

There was also this instance when I was with my cousins. I was in third grade, I think. At that time, I already discovered the pleasure of masturbation but didn't know what it was called.(You're right, dry O's) At my cousins, I remember being in the room with one of them who is the same age as I was. I remember sitting at the side of the bed with my boner out of my shorts and my cousin at my side doing the same thing. We were touching each other's dick and occasionally stroking it. However, I don't remember ending it with a mutual jack off session.

So, that's it. That's how I knew.

And by junior year highschool, I shared my secret to my dearest and closest friends who from then on I consider as brothers. Also, at that time, I engaged in my first exploratory experience in bed with a classmate.

I guess there's a difference between knowing and accepting. I think I already knew early on in my life that I was different from other boys. But I only started to accept it when I began to acknowledge that it's a part of me. And by acknowledging it, I started to embrace it. I became less confused and paranoid and introverted and homophobic. However, accepting it doesn't it mean that being gay is all that you are. There are still more to you than your gender. And the sooner you accept who you are, the sooner you can really be comfortable with your skin. Well, that's an advice I also tell myself until now.


How bout you, how'd you know?
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Two for Two

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After meeting these guys, something kinda dawned on me...

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I met him for the first time that day. He agreed to accompany me to an 'important' matter. Though we have been exchanging  messages for quite some time, I was still anxious for our first actual meet up.

I already knew what he looked like. Based on the picture he sent, he could pass as a print ad model. He has a boyish charm to him, with rosy cheeks, and fair complexion. And according to him, he's also tall.

First things I thought of when I saw the photo he sent me was 'Oh, he's so freaking hot!' 'He's so gorgeous!' "WOW" "Take me home!" hehe. Honestly, I didn't want to believe that it's his actual photo. I was like, 'no, he can't be this hot.' I was thinking, maybe he's just shy or maybe he wants to project a persona. And since our interaction was always pleasant (he's really very nice, friendly and funny), I went along with it, thinking that it's him on the photo.

He called me on my phone as I walked towards where we were supposed to meet. While he was talking to me and asking me where I was, I kept saying to myself 'please, be someone else. please, be a poser. please don't be the one in the photo.' And as walked closer, I saw him. All I could think of was 'OMG, he's the real deal!' He is freaking good-looking! Good thing we already established rapport because I honestly don't know what I would do if it was the first for us in everything.

The day went by as planned with some minor changes. But I am looking forward to seeing more of my new friend in the coming days.

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He was at the waiting area when I first laid eyes on him. I was seated in front of him that's why I was able to take a good look. He was staring at his laptop, busy with what I think was work-related. As I observe him and how he interacts with other people in the area, I felt like I have seen him somewhere before. You see, I'm really bad with names, even worse, I'm bad with locations or events or venues. I could remember faces, but can't remember where or when I saw them.

I finished doing what I was supposed to do but still decided to hang around the waiting area to, well, wait for my friends to finish what they were supposed to do. Get it? It was taking my friends so long to finish.Good thing there was him and his colleagues to entertain me and accompany me in killing time.

During that wait, I got acquainted with all of them. They we were all laughing and teasing each other. They were just a riot. Still at the back of my mind, I was trying to recall where him and me first shared an event. But unfortunately, my memory failed me.

It was getting late and my friends were still doing their thing. So I decided to go along with them and go home.

At home, I immediately went to stalker mode and looked him up in the internet. Fortunately, he had a Facebook profile and luckily we had two common friends, and that his profile pic was his and not a cartoon or a baby or an animal.

Not for anything else but to know where our path previously crossed, I sent him a message. I hoped I didn't come off as a stalker or a pervert or someone who wants a booty call by telling a cheesy line like 'I think I know you from somewhere.'

Thankfully, he didn't seem to think that way. He is really friendly and approachable. We've been texting ever since.

--

There are two conflicting personalities that often battle whenever I am in social situations - one is the outgoing, can-mingle-with-anybody type and the introverted, only-interacts-with-a-few type. And as much I want to perceive myself as the type who can interact with all types of people, in all social class and status, and beauty, there are still things inside of me that give me a hard time in achieving that.

I banked on the friendship that I started with the first guy to help me survive our first meeting. Though I was positively awestruck with him, I was able to pull myself together and just be there as a friend which was what i really wanted in the first place. really. I also realized that I didn't have a lot of good looking guy friends growing up. maybe that's why I feel inferior or insecure around them

Lastly, I realized that it would be easier for me to just think of every guy that I meet as friends. I should fantasize of anything else because it will just distract me from truly knowing that person. I might miss out on a great activity buddy just because I started to flirt with him and I drive him away.

Guess I should stick to my original reason in interacting (may it be in person, or in social networking sites) with guys which was to gain more friends and people to understand. I sometimes get lost with the atmosphere of flirting and teasing in twitter that I am having a hard time snapping back to my own ways. hehe now, here's to more friendships :)
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Summer Training (2)

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(part 1 here)


Surely but still cautiously, I moved my hand down his crotch. Felt like his member was still dozzing off. But that didn't stop me from waking up the serpent. With each rub and squeeze, I felt his member grow. when it reached it's full size, all I could utter in my head was "sheeeeet!" Indeed, the rumors were true. he was completely and utterly endowed. It was the biggest cock I have ever held in my life. This is no exaggeration  It could pass as the porn level cock size. "shit! shit!" I kept shouting in my mind.

With out wasting any time, I continued pleasuring him with my pumps. For every subtle grunt and sigh, I knew he was enjoying it. However, it was difficult for me to sustain stroking him. You see, I was holding his cock using my left hand. But I am a rightie. The left hand didn't have the same endurance as the right. So I was frequently adjusting the rhythm and tempo of my strokes. Just as I could feel that he's already tensing up, there  goes my hand slowing down or getting out of rhythm.

It was one of the most awkward handjobs I had ever given. I could feel his frustration for every failed time for him to reach orgasm. when I guess he already got frustrated, he turned to the other side and stayed that way. I didn't try to follow his position because it would look like we're spooning. It was the first night of the summer training, I still had one more night to do it right.

All of us got up early the next day. We were told that we had a packed itinerary of adventures for that day. Surely it would be as tiring as yesterday's training. For the whole day, comrade and I didn't mention anything about last night nor did anybody notice the something happened between us the night before. We were both casual about it. I guess that's how teenagers in the closet handle those kinds of situations.

In the afternoon after an hour and a half of trekking, we reached a resort with a camping ground. A tent is given for every four training participant. So in our tent was me, Comrade and two more participants. I worried about how I could execute my devilish plan with two other people in the tent. Guess I just had. to be creative, right.

In the tent our position was comrade on the far left side, then me on his right, and the two other people in my right. I planned to let the other two sleep first before doing my dirty deed. However, my dead tired body gave in and I began to snooze off.

I only awaken when I felt my left hand was being held by comrade and moving it towards his body. I didn't know he was as eager as I am to finish what I started last night. He placed my hand directly to his now semi-hard monster of a cock.

I didn't waste any more time and started rubbing his cock through his shorts. He wasn't wearing any underwear that night; i guess because it was a hot evening. I just couldn't wait any longer. So as soon as I felt that he was rock hard I decided to pull his cock out of his shorts; of course as subtle as possible.

Since he was at my left side again, it was difficult for me to sustain the handjob rhythm and pace. I keep on stopping and re-positioning myself.

When he realized my struggle, he turned to his side and faced me. I followed what he did and turned to face him. Not only can I use my right hand now, we can also cover between us his cock so that our tent-mates wouldn't instantly see it.

Now using my right hand, I began to pump his cock. I started with gentle strokes trying to  familiarize his rod. then I picked up the pace trying to tug a little harder and faster. I could feel the tension building up in his cock. His body also started to tense up and just about the time he came he pulled my head towards his chest and hugged me real tight. His strong but quiet sigh told me that he already exploded.

I tried to feel where his cum landed on the tent floor. then I felt a puddle of goo between us. Immediately he pulled out his jacket and started wiping the cum off the floor.

We slept soundly that night. our tentmates didn't seem to wake up after our deed. They were still snoring that time. as for us, we played it casual the next day and had some occasional repeats every now and then.

here's one of those casual occasions hehe
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