Of Booze, Excitement, Dancing

Sa gitna ng dumadagungdong na musika, napapaligiran ng mga nag-iinuman at nagsisiyahan, at habang pinapanood ang mga katabi at nasa entabladong kalalakihan na nagsasayawan, maraming bagay ang sumagi sa aking isipan.

This is so high school. Like Blue Onion days. Standing in a corner. Swaying from side to side. Occasionally, sipping beer. Trying to be more frugal. Looking at the crowd. Seeing mostly gorgeous people. Feeling insecure.  Smiling at the weirdness, sexiness, and horniness around. Very high school, indeed. The only difference is, this time, I could go home with a number or a guy. *sees a guy already staring.*

Sabay tugtog ng Wrecking ball... Applause... at kung ano-ano pang kantang na-remix upang umakma sa mood na sayawan at gilingan.

Just the other day, I was applauding in praise to the great Creator. Tonight, I'm applauding how those half-naked men are gyrating their hips. The other day, I was praising the beauty of His creation. Now, I'm praising how those ledge dancers' body is cut in God-like beauty.

This is what they're saying, serving two masters. I am serving two masters, ain't I? 

Sinilip ko ang cellphone ko. Walang reply.

I did it again, didn't I? I blew it big time. Someone was already pouring his heart out but I  still didn't let him inside mine. Was I still confused? Lack commitment? Or are we simply not meant to be? I don't know. I knew I needed help in dating. I don't know how one does it. I don't know what to make sense of the things that happened. I do what I do best in things like this, I give up. I bail. Sorry. I feel embarrassed.

Paalis na raw ang kasama ko. Sabi ko'y sasabay na rin ako. Ang gabing iyon napuno ng iba't ibang pakiramdam at karanasan. Iba-iba ngunit naging makabuluhan.