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Bulong (2)

Ang nakaraan.


Hindi iyon ang unang pagkakataong nagkaraon siya ng realization habang nasa kama kasama ang isang lalaki.


- wala namang nagkakagusto sa akin e. puro na lang katawan ko gusto nila, pabiro niyang banat. Maybe he was also fishing for some compliments. Ngunit sa likod ng banat na iyon ay nagtatago ang totoong frustration na nararamdaman niya sa mga lalaking nakikilala niya. 

> bakit, hindi mo ba  naisip na baka ilan sa kanila ay relasyon ang hinahanap? Ikaw lang talaga ang may ayaw, sagot niya na tila kuya na nagpapayo.

- choosy ko noh. ang hot ko kasi e, sarkastikong sagot niya. Nagpatawa na lang siya para maitago ang kahihiyan sa kanyang sinabi.


Ang payo na iyon ay nagmula sa kanyang matagal nang crush na minsan ay nagkataong nagtagpo ang kanilang pagnanasa.

Akala niya ay wari'y sinasabi sa kanya na relasyon ang gusto sa kanya, na wari'y seryoso ang kanyang pinagpapantasyahan na ng kay tagal sa kanya, na gusto niya na maging sila.

Ngunit mali ang kanyang inakala. Sa dulo'y hindi rin sila ang nagkatuluyan. Marami siyang naisip na dahilan kung bakit hindi nangyari ang inaasam niya; ngunit lahat ng iyon ay magiging ispekulasyon lamang. Dahil masyado siyang nasaktan, marahil hindi na niya makakayanang makipagkita muli.

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