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Of Hickies and Shallowness


Magkasama kami kagabi ni mahal (waahh! baduy! nag-iisip pa kami ng ibang tawagan eh, so hayaan niyo na lang). Nag-overnight kami somewhere kasi inaya ko siya magsimba. Yes, simba talaga. Anyway, masaya ang gabi namin together. Sweet. Romantic. Cheesy minsan. Minasahe ko siya, whole body. Feeling asawa lang talaga. Tapos nagpictorial pa kami. Na never ko ginawa - ever. Sa kanya lang nangyari yan. Buti na lang may password ang phone ko. At dapat hindi siya mawala kasi magkikita-kita na lang tayo sa Quiapo at sa mga amateur sites nyan. At sabi nga sa title, nilagyan din niya ko ng hicky. Well, hickies to be exact. Apat na hickies sa dibdib na ngayon ay medyo nangingitim na. Na parang pasa. Di naman ako nagreklamo kahit naramdaman ko na. Kinda kinky na sweet na old-school.

Masaya kami the whole day today. We had breakfast together. Strolled the mall together. Masaya talaga. Meron lang talagang panira sa masayang araw na to eh.

There was this instance today. He discovered something na kinainisan ko. I told him to stop it. Pero pinagtatawanan lang niya ko. So lalo tuloy ako na-bad trip. There was silence for a moment. Tapos umikot kami ulit ng mall nang walang imikan. Di ko naman siya matiis talaga kaya ako na yung unang gumawa ng move. Okay na naman kami. Tapos na bring up ulit yung topic na iyun at naulit na naman yung inis ko sa kanya. Sobrang nanggigigil na ko nun sa inis. Di ko alam. Pati katawan ko iba na sinasabi sa akin.

During lunch time, di ko siya matignan o makausap man lang. Ok naman kasi nag-sorry naman siya at mukhang sincere naman siya. Kaso di ko maalis sa sistema ko yung pagkainis ko. Dahil ba masyado akong nag-expect sa kanya, kaya ganoon na lang reaksyon ko na may halong disappointment? Dahil ba masyado ko na siyang mahal na di ko inasahan na magngangalit ako ng ganoon lang sa isang maliit na bagay? Dahil ba masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari na naging kami nang hindi man lang namin naipapakita ang tunay naming ugali sa isa't isa?

Naguguluhan lang ako. Hindi ko kasi alam kung bakit hanggang ngayon. Hanggang ngayon na tina-type ko to sa laptop ko, ganoon parin ang nararamdaman ko. Pakiramdam ko nasaktan ako. Ayaw ko pa naman yung nasasaktan. Lalo na yung nasasaktan at naaapektuhan sa maliliit na bagay. Handa na ba talaga ako sa relationship? Handa na ba akong masaktan?
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Comments

  1. ^travisMarch 2, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    aw. ayaw kong magcomment about love. just take care of your heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MamonMarch 2, 2012 at 12:37 PM

      bakit? thanks, masyado siguro ko na-overwhelm :p

      Delete
  2. Victor SaudadMarch 2, 2012 at 12:24 AM

    Could it be that, it's not love? Love does not hate, as they say. Love does not haste, nor waste.

    How could it be love, when you are in doubt?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MamonMarch 2, 2012 at 12:38 PM

      gusto ko yang " Love does not hate. Love does not haste, nor waste."

      Delete
  3. LeoMarch 2, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    Wag ka na mapikon. He's just making lambing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. MugenMarch 5, 2012 at 1:43 AM

    Na curious ako kung ano yung nadiskubre niya. Hehe.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ShenanigansMarch 5, 2012 at 2:43 AM

    aki din na curious kung anu yung na discover niya at ganyan kalaki ang galit mo.. di ko tuloy maintindihan ang whole point ng post na to

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MamonMarch 6, 2012 at 1:11 AM

      mababaw e, i think nagalit ako kasi nakulitan ako sa kanya.

      Delete
    2. ShenanigansMarch 7, 2012 at 4:40 AM

      hahahaha! nanglalambing lang yun

      Delete
  6. SethMarch 9, 2012 at 6:03 AM

    di ako maka comment until malaman ko kung anu yung pet peeve mo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MamonMarch 10, 2012 at 12:59 AM

      it's mababaw talaga. sinusubukan ko na baguhin :P

      Delete

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