Skip to main content

Random: Saloobin sa Jeep ulit


Kanina pauwi habang nagmumuni-muni sa jeep, napatingin ako sa isang pasahero.

Isang tatay kasama ang kanyang dalawang lalaking anak. Siguro nasa mga 30's lang si daddy at mga 6 at 4 years old lang ang mga chikiting.

Si daddy maganda katawan. Alam mong manual labor ang ginagawa. May itsura. Kayumanggi at maganda ang smile. At pinaka importante, mukhang mabango. hehe

Yung dalawang bata nakakandong kay daddy.

Natuwa naman ako dun sa mga bata. Close sila kay daddy. At si daddy yakap ng mahigpit yung dalawang chikiting at mukhang may binubulong dun sa older kid. Napapa-smile lang yung kid.

Napansin kong napapa-smile din ako.

Tapos naisip ko, sana ganyan din kami noong papa. Sana naging close din kami noong bata ako.

So na-realize ko, naiinggit ako sa mga bata dahil may mabait silang daddy, na-close sa kanila, at napaka-cool. Di naman sila mukhang mayaman. Tama lang. Pero ang saya nila, ang saya nilang tignan.

Nainggit lang ako. But more than envy, I was happy for them.

Napaisip tuloy ako ulit, may chance kayang magkaroon ako ng ganung moment. Karga-karga ko ang mga kids ko at magiging cool dad. Gusto ko noon.

Naalala ko tuloy na dati sinabi ko sa sarili ko, I want to be the best dad that my father never became with me.

#daddyissues

Comments

  1. i dont know how this might sound, but we can't really have it all..embrace life=)

    ReplyDelete
  2. ah daddy ba ang topic? okay! next post please.. haha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. akala ko gusto mo sanang maging close din jayo nung daddy sa jeep.

    lolz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. actually, gusto ko itapon yung mga bata at ako ang kakandong kay daddy sabay bulong sa ear niya. haha

      Delete
  4. one of my greatest dream is to become a dad. a good father.





    I like your jeepiphanies.

    ReplyDelete
  5. just a thought. maybe its a big factor why my sexual orientation is like this because i long for a man who will give me his attention and make me feel comfortable na hindi ko naranasan masyado sa father ko.

    andami kong naiisip sa sinusulat mo hehe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you know what, ganun din ata ako. Im longing for love from a man, love that my father wasn't able to show.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Before Coming Out

Lately, I've been thinking of coming out. It's like I want to free of myself of the burden of keeping my identity a secret. But before I come out, I just have some personal conditions I need to accomplish first. I won't be doing these things just to earn people's approval on my lifestyle but more for me being comfortable in the path I've chosen to live.

What 2012 taught me..

Yesterday night, my friends and I went out for dinner. During our talk a friend suggested to share our year-end evaluations. Since I've already blogged about how my year went, I was quick to answer his question. His next topic was to complete the statement: 2012 taught me to.... I haven't really thought of the lessons or general theme of the closing year so I got to think about my answer. And here's what I shared. "2012 taught me to just keep on trying. Maybe I'll succeed, maybe I won't. No matter what the outcome may be, what's important is that I have tried that I have exerted effort to reach my dream. Even though I take things a day at a time, not really making long term plans, I still have goals for whatever opportunities and I would make every step to take advantage of that chance. I believe that it's better to have tried (in love, in career, and in life) than to regret not trying at all." So that's it. And with this, I end my 2012 ...

Limp

I'm feeling a little limp tonight - maybe it's the vagueness of my future or the dilemmas I am facing or the lack of financial stability I am experiencing - but all I can do is just speculate. I thought I have gone through this already, the quarter life crisis as they say - emotional lability, constant questioning of worth, and unexplainable emo-shit. I'm tired of this, tired to wake up each morning and feel unsure of everything. Ugh. I just want to shake this off. Anyway, speaking of shaking things, here's one topic I wanted to write about for so long. I first heard it from some friends [ang mag-react, guilty! hahaha] and it got me curious, though I have to say, I really don't need this. *ehem* What is it? It's penis enlargement. Yes, my dear friends, you read it right. PENIS ENLARGEMENT . The natural kind. They call it Jelq . They say Jelqing was derived from an Arabic word meaning 'milking', which is the main motion of this technique....