Skip to main content

Of Death, Dying, and Disease

In light with what happened in the last months, I can't help but to reflect on this stage of life that we would all have to go through - death.

******
On consoling and mourning - I really don't know how to act in this kind of situation. I don't know what I should do or what I should say to someone who just lost somebody. All I can say is a simple 'how are you.'

I have gone to two wakes last month. The first one was in the wake of my friend's father and the next was in a  friend's grandmother's. All I did was to ask my friends how their relatives died. Then they will go on and narrate the events that lead to their relatives' death. After that we continue to converse about our current lives. I don't know if I should be giving words of encouragement or inspiration. Actually, if I do want to share some words of wisdom, I can't cause I don't know what to say to someone grieving. I don't know what they are feeling and I don't want to say something inappropriate. I guess it boils down to my principle of "do to others what you want them to do to you." I always thought that I don't want someone saying to me "It's gonna be ok" or "I know how you feel" if i lose someone because no one really knows how anyone feels when they lose someone they love, right? Each of our experiences are unique to us. It is something personal. Something an existentialism like me believes in. So all I can do, and all I do is listen to them, and if they do break down in front of me, I'll just be there for them, not saying anything but just letting them feel that they are not alone. Just like what I want others to do to me.

Anyway, in my friend's grandmother's wake, it happened to be the time for relatives to share something about the deceased - the eulogy. I have never attended someone else's eulogy, someone not my relative, before. So I thought I would just listen. What I realized there was that I do have shallow tears. Once her children started to cry, I also started to cry. I didn't want my friend to see, but I just can't hold back the tears. I just feel their sadness, their sorrow. It's like I feel like I am the one who lost a loved one. Good thing I had my handkerchief. Next time, I'll sit at the back in eulogies.

On preparation - I remember a priest's sermon in one of the wake's that I went to. He stressed the importance of spiritual preparation. He stated that no knows when they will meet our Maker that is why we should live each day in His honor as if we are going to meet Him soon. So that in case we die unexpectedly, we would face Him with no regrets.

I totally agree with the priest. But I was thinking of other things to prepare. As important as spiritual preparation is physical preparation. When we die, we leave those whom we love. We don't want to give them problems, right? So we must be able to arrange everything before hand - our death insurance,  medical insurance, memorial service, etc. We don't want our transition to be more problematic for our loved ones. We don't want them crying over the bills after crying over our passing. Since we're on the physical aspect of preparation, we should also be mindful of our appearance. Sounds shallow, right, thinking how you would look like when you die. But based on my experience, people were able accept their loved one's death better if they are looking good. Naisip ko tuloy, pag ako namatay, dapat maganda skin ko para maganda dating ng make up. :P 

On dying - Every time I hear someone dying I always think of these: 
I wanna die fairly young, maybe around 60's, so that almost all the people I know are still alive so that there are a lot of people in my funeral and wake.
I wanna die first before my family and loved ones. I don't know how to live without them, seeing them leave one by one.
I want a celebration in my wake and funeral, ball-style. I want people wearing their suits and cocktail dresses, drinking champagne and wine.
I want to be in in my business attire, still looking sharp.
I want to be cremated and my ashes sprinkled on top of the highest mountains of the world, sige kahit highest mountain in the Philippines na lang :)

Comments

  1. this is a very brave post... I have always admired people who can speak about the said topic and not feel morbid about it... ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. i agree...sabi nga nila magastos n ang nbubuhay..mgastos pa din pag nmatay...ako basta mpagtpos ko lng ang mga pamngkin ko e pwedeng pwede n kong kunin ni Lord...hehe..sana c Lord ang kumuha sakin...hehe
    live our life to d fullest because life is so short

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Before Coming Out

Lately, I've been thinking of coming out. It's like I want to free of myself of the burden of keeping my identity a secret. But before I come out, I just have some personal conditions I need to accomplish first. I won't be doing these things just to earn people's approval on my lifestyle but more for me being comfortable in the path I've chosen to live.

What 2012 taught me..

Yesterday night, my friends and I went out for dinner. During our talk a friend suggested to share our year-end evaluations. Since I've already blogged about how my year went, I was quick to answer his question. His next topic was to complete the statement: 2012 taught me to.... I haven't really thought of the lessons or general theme of the closing year so I got to think about my answer. And here's what I shared. "2012 taught me to just keep on trying. Maybe I'll succeed, maybe I won't. No matter what the outcome may be, what's important is that I have tried that I have exerted effort to reach my dream. Even though I take things a day at a time, not really making long term plans, I still have goals for whatever opportunities and I would make every step to take advantage of that chance. I believe that it's better to have tried (in love, in career, and in life) than to regret not trying at all." So that's it. And with this, I end my 2012 ...

Limp

I'm feeling a little limp tonight - maybe it's the vagueness of my future or the dilemmas I am facing or the lack of financial stability I am experiencing - but all I can do is just speculate. I thought I have gone through this already, the quarter life crisis as they say - emotional lability, constant questioning of worth, and unexplainable emo-shit. I'm tired of this, tired to wake up each morning and feel unsure of everything. Ugh. I just want to shake this off. Anyway, speaking of shaking things, here's one topic I wanted to write about for so long. I first heard it from some friends [ang mag-react, guilty! hahaha] and it got me curious, though I have to say, I really don't need this. *ehem* What is it? It's penis enlargement. Yes, my dear friends, you read it right. PENIS ENLARGEMENT . The natural kind. They call it Jelq . They say Jelqing was derived from an Arabic word meaning 'milking', which is the main motion of this technique....