Skip to main content

Laro

Sa tagal mo nang naglalaro, akala mo bihasa ka na. Na kahit anong gawin mo, hindi ka madadala. Na ikaw pa rin ang nagpapatakbo ng laro. Ngunit minsan bibigay ka rin at susuko.

Bagamat gusto mo nang umiwas sa paglalaro, di mo pa rin magawang talikuran ang nakasanayan. Tila naging bahagi na ito ng iyong pagkatao na kahit kailan ay di kayang iwaksi. Kaya maiisip mo, sasaya pa kaya ako nang tunay?

Madali kasing sabihing hindi ka pa handa sa pakikipagrelasyon. Dahil alam mo sa sarili mo na di mo pa kayang maglaan ng atensyon para sa iisa lamang. At alam mo na kapag nangyari iyon, ay makakasakit ka lang ng damdamin.

Ngunit ang malaking tanong ay hanggang kailan? Hanggang kailan ka magpapatuloy sa paglalaro. Alam mong nagsasawa ka na, pero bakit nahihirapan ka pa rin magbago? Ano ang hinihintay mo para ikaw ay tumalikod sa nakagawian?

Marahil may hinihintay ka. Marahil may inaabangan kang tao kung saan ilalayo ka sa ganoong pag-iisip. Isang tagapagligtas na maunawain at mapagmahal. Yung mas mahal ka kesa sa mahal mo. Isang taong makakaintindi.

Ngunit kung iisipin mo, hindi yun patas. Ikaw ang mas mamahalin, ikaw ang iinitindihin, ikaw ang uunawain. Parang nagiging madamot ka naman.

Marahil tama ka nga sa pasya mong huwag munang pumasok sa relasyon. Mukhang hindi ka pa nga talaga handa. Mukhang kailangan mo munang kilalanin ang sarili mo ng lubusan bago ka magpapasok ng panibagong tao sa buhay mo.

Sinasabi mong sawa ka na sa paglalaro. Sinasabi mong gusto mo ng lumagay sa tahimik. Puwes, ngayon palang ay diretchuhin mo na ang buhay mo upang kung sakaling dumating man ang tamang tao para sa iyo, ay hindi mo na iisiping ito ay isang laro lamang.

Comments

  1. ano ba naman kasi yang larong yan? lol!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Let me guess... You're talking toyourself noh? hmmmnnn... ok lang yan...laro laro lang para mas nakakalibang...

    ReplyDelete
  3. kinakausap mo na naman sarili mo mamon. sana naman makinig na siya yang sarili mo sau. charrr hahaha

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Before Coming Out

Lately, I've been thinking of coming out. It's like I want to free of myself of the burden of keeping my identity a secret. But before I come out, I just have some personal conditions I need to accomplish first. I won't be doing these things just to earn people's approval on my lifestyle but more for me being comfortable in the path I've chosen to live.

What 2012 taught me..

Yesterday night, my friends and I went out for dinner. During our talk a friend suggested to share our year-end evaluations. Since I've already blogged about how my year went, I was quick to answer his question. His next topic was to complete the statement: 2012 taught me to.... I haven't really thought of the lessons or general theme of the closing year so I got to think about my answer. And here's what I shared. "2012 taught me to just keep on trying. Maybe I'll succeed, maybe I won't. No matter what the outcome may be, what's important is that I have tried that I have exerted effort to reach my dream. Even though I take things a day at a time, not really making long term plans, I still have goals for whatever opportunities and I would make every step to take advantage of that chance. I believe that it's better to have tried (in love, in career, and in life) than to regret not trying at all." So that's it. And with this, I end my 2012 ...

Limp

I'm feeling a little limp tonight - maybe it's the vagueness of my future or the dilemmas I am facing or the lack of financial stability I am experiencing - but all I can do is just speculate. I thought I have gone through this already, the quarter life crisis as they say - emotional lability, constant questioning of worth, and unexplainable emo-shit. I'm tired of this, tired to wake up each morning and feel unsure of everything. Ugh. I just want to shake this off. Anyway, speaking of shaking things, here's one topic I wanted to write about for so long. I first heard it from some friends [ang mag-react, guilty! hahaha] and it got me curious, though I have to say, I really don't need this. *ehem* What is it? It's penis enlargement. Yes, my dear friends, you read it right. PENIS ENLARGEMENT . The natural kind. They call it Jelq . They say Jelqing was derived from an Arabic word meaning 'milking', which is the main motion of this technique....